Page 33 of Saving Grace
For the first time in years, Ifeelsafe. Supported. Loved.
How do I put into words that I’m falling apart because the man who has been a father figure to me since the loss of my own just verbally claimed me as his daughter? That all my fears of being judged, of being shunned, ridiculed, hated for staying away were for naught.
That I have people in this world who love me.
Instead of voicing any of that, I turn from Mr. Flynn’s hold and step into Drew’s chest. His good arm wraps around me instinctively as I nuzzle my head into the base of his neck, the hand in the sling teasing the exposed skin of my bicep.
He presses his lips to my forehead before looking at his dad. “Didn’t want to interrupt you two, but Mom needs you to help her with the potatoes. Something about making sure to not use whole a stick of butter this time?”
Mr. Flynn chuckles, the sound coming all the way from his belly. “Potatoes can never have too much butter. You’d think she’d know that after forty-three years of being with me. I make the best damn taters.” His boots pad softly on the wood floor as he slips into the kitchen, leaving the me and Drew alone.
Drew’s hand travels to my chin, forcing my eyes to meet his. “You sure this isn’t too much, too soon?”
I shake my head even as another tear trickles down my cheek. “Swear I’m good,” I whisper before tucking my head against his chest again. “Just missed this feeling.”
He hums in understanding, though whether he thinks I’m referring to being in his parents’ home or against his chest, I’m not sure.
He’d be right either way.
“Mom and Kristen are fighting over who gets to hold Kaia while you eat.”
“And Declan?”
“He’s snuggling her as we speak.”
“I hate they never had any of their own.”
His heavy sigh rocks our bodies. “They’re finally coming to terms with it, I think. There’s even talk of fostering since she has connections through her psychiatry and nursing background.”
“They’d both be so good at it. Parenting kids with unkind pasts, I mean.” After all, I feel like I have a pretty solid history as an example of how patient Kristen is with all of our sessions over the years. And the day everything changed between us notwithstanding, Declan has never once made me feel uncomfortable. Not even after the night I was attacked, when any man not Drew or my brother could trigger a panic attack.
We stand in silence, my head tucked under Drew’s chin as he holds me close to his side. I melt into him, but I can still feel the tension radiating from his body.
“Your thoughts are begging to be let out, Andrew Malakai Flynn. Let ’em fly.”
He chuckles, and some of the tightness in his muscles relaxes. “Just have something to ask you, but I have a feeling it’ll be a longer conversation than we have time for right now.”
As much as I want to press him for more, I know better. Drew has always been easy to read, but it’s by his choice. He can close down and keep even the biggest secret tucked away when he wants.
“I guess it’s a good thing you’re staying over again tonight, then, isn’t it?” I lean my head back, a soft smile—a real one—sliding onto my face. Maybe it’s too bold, too forward for whatever this is that’s stirring between us, but I’m trying to embrace what makes me happy.
“Yeah, sunshine,” he says before pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead. “I guess it is.”
And if this feeling of hope and love inside my chest is anything to go by, happiness won’t be going anywhere.
“Come on, sunshine. Let’s go face the music.”
He wraps his arm around my shoulder, guiding me into the kitchen where I’m sure pretty much everyone could hear what was said. But no one acknowledges it. Kaia looks content snuggled into her uncle’s chest, and the glassy look in his eyes makes me confident that she’s wrapped another protective male around her tiny little fingers. I’ll have to apologize to her in the years to come.Good luck dating, baby girl.
Kristen is the first to notice us, and she waltzes over, wrapping me in a hug.
Maybe it’s weird having a friendship with my therapist, but I think that’s the only reason I’m comfortable going to our sessions. Because she isn’t a stranger trying to pry into the darkest recesses of my mind. Her petite frame and blonde hair always make me think of an ice princess, especially with those glacial-blue eyes of hers.
She lets go and brushes a loose strand of hair over my shoulder in a very motherly gesture, and I feel the guilt creeping in not for the first time. Here I am, a mother to a completely unplanned,healthy baby, and she’s been trying to conceive and carry for years.
She catches the shift in my mood and smiles softly, her hand cradling the side of my head. “None of that,” she whispers knowingly. Glancing up at Drew, she nods at his shoulder brace. “Hey, kid. How’d your visit with the doc go?”
“How it looks,” he grumbles. “Not exactly rainbows and butterflies.” He filled me in after my nap, that he’s limited for several days. Not that it’s stopped him from toting Kaia around.
