Page 24 of Saving Grace
Shaking my head, I shrug. “I had Gavin. Kristen when I needed her. That was enough.”
“From now on, you have this town, this group right here. And you have me. No more doing this on your own,” he whispers against my hair before dropping a kiss to the top of my head. His hand on my waist keeps me from turning to look at him, and I know—I know—I should not feel like my insides just melted. I’m more than aware that I can’t let myself fall for his words again.
He promised me the world once before, and look how that turned out.
But what if I let him in? What if we wiped the slate clean?
I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?
Chapter 12
Leila
There was a time when I’d sleep ten hours straight every night and wake up feeling rested and ready to tackle the day. I was maybe twelve, and my dad was still alive.
After Gavin got me out of Havenwood, I’d sleep five or six hours at a time, if I was lucky enough to not have nightmares.
Since I gave birth to Kaia? I haven’t slept more than two hours at a time. So, when I wake to sun peeking through the curtains and no baby crying, my body shifts into full-on panic mode.
The worst thoughts shoot through my mind.Is she okay? Is she breathing? Did somebody break in and take her?
And don’t try to tell me that my thoughts are irrational. I know the statistics of SIDS, and it is one of my biggest fears as a mother.
It’s why I breathe a sigh of relief when I see her bassinet empty. The logical parts of my brain finally kick on, and I realize Gavin probably came in to get her when he woke up. It’s not unusual for him to steal her for snuggles in the mornings. I just usually hear him come in.
What I definitely don’t expect is to walk into the kitchen and find Drew Flynn at the counter preparing a bottle with one hand while the other holds Kaia against his chest.
Why does it feel like my insides are melting every time I see this man doing the simplest of things? Watching him warm a bottle of breastmilk should not be a turn on.
He startles when he sees me. “Oh, shit. Crap. Snap! Sorry, I don’t know what the protocol is for cursing around babies.”
“She’s heard it all. Besides, it’s kind of cute watching you freak out over your swear word vocabulary.”
“I didn’t hear you come in. You sleep okay?”
“Mhmm.” I walk closer, cocking my hip out as I lean against the refrigerator. “What are you doing here, Drew?”
“Just spending time with my daughter before the day gets busy.”
“And the blanket and pillow on the couch?”
“We had a snuggle sesh?”
One brow raises as I wait for him to continue.
He finally sighs. “Gavin gave me a key and insinuated that you weren’t getting much sleep.”
“He did, did he?”
It’s his turn to stare me down. “So, after I dropped you guys off last night, I went home to change and grab clothes for today before texting Gavin that I’d sneak in once y’all had gone to bed. He left a blanket out for me. Probably really for Kaia, but I used it.”
My chest squeezes at the casualness of his tone, like he doesn’t think it’s a big deal that he just gave me my first night of sleep in almost a year. Like he didn’t just fully immerse himself in the parent role that I prayed he’d want to fill. The constant guilt I feel at not coming back sooner tries to seep in. If I’d been brave enough to show up months ago, he would have been there for us. I one thousand percent know that now.
“So, did it work?” he asks while I’m lost in my head, in thecould havesandwhat ifs.
“Hmm?”
“Did you get more sleep than normal?”
