Page 2 of Saving Grace
The only reason either brother found out we’d been sneaking around for the last several years is because Drew’s brother heard my scream during the start of a particularly rough nightmare-turned-panic attack.
Walking in on your brother and your best friend’s sister while neither are clothed leads to questions no one wants to deal with.
My knee bounces against the glove box, and my knuckles turn white with their grip on my phone as I try to bring my focus back to the e-book I’ve been slowly working through. Usually, Laura Beth’s medical romances are my bread and butter, but I can’t slow my mind enough to focus on the snack of a doctor who falls for the nurse who works three jobs to stay afloat.
I glance in the backseat again, forcing a deep breath as I take in Kaia’s sleeping form.
Turning back to the front, I set my phone in the cup holder, clenching my eyes closed as I drop my head into my hands. Blunt nails press into my scalp as I massage it roughly. I take a breath and open my eyes, shaky hands reaching for the center console as Gavin slows for a traffic light. I fumble through all the junk until I find the emergency bottle of anxiety medication.
I shake it twice, the sound of a single pill bouncing around soothing something inside of me. As I try to remove the lid, Gavin places a hand on my unsteady ones. I look up to meet his concerned hazel eyes.
“Unless you plan to convince Kaia to accept formula for the first time when she wakes, you can’t take that one right now,” he says while holding his hand out for the canister. I willingly place it in his open hand, and he turns his focus back to the road as the light turns green. “Everything is going to be okay. Try not to create issues that don’t exist yet.”
Rolling my eyes, I huff. “Just a few hours ago, you were arguing otherwise.”
“Yeah, well, we’re almost there now. So, buckle up, buttercup.”
I take a deep breath, trying to cleanse the ensuing panic from my system. He’s right, of course. My mind is conjuring all the possible ways this could end badly.
When I still don’t say anything, Gavin sighs. His fingers slide up and down the steering wheel, his own anxious tell. “What’s going through your head right now?”
“What if I can’t do this? What if being back here triggers too many memories? What if this is all too much, for everyone?” For Drew, but I don’t say that part out loud.
I know the words my brother wants to say are along the lines ofWhere was this hesitation before I called Kelsey?but he’s a good sport about it. He knows it’s just my anxiety talking. Ihaven’t stepped foot in Havenwood in a little over a decade. I never came back, because the trauma inflicted by my mother and stepfather was too great. Every happy memory I’d ever had here had been wiped away by the trauma and heartache they brought to this sweet little town.
Back then, Gavin was in his twenties and lived in our dad’s old house. By the time he caught wind of the situation, it was too late. I was a shell of my former self, the happy-go-lucky child that never met a stranger. The bullet wound in my arm was luckily the worst of the physical damage done to me.
I can’t say the same for my egg donor and her dealer.
“You need to breathe, Leila,” he says, his tone as firm as the grip on my arm. His touch serves its purpose, grounding me from the memories that are trying to burst from their cobwebbed crates.
As my eyes take in our surroundings, a sleepy whimper sounds from the backseat. Luckily—or unluckily, depending on who’s asking—we’ve made it to the outskirts of town, where our dad’s old house sits. Gavin must have pulled into the drive while I was lost in my head.
The white one-story ranch house with black shutters and a matching front door isn’t much size-wise, but it’s plenty big for the three of us for now. Gavin steps out of the SUV and opens the back door, unlatching the car seat from its base and bringing Kaia around to my side. Her eyes are still shut, but her little fists are bunched tight. She’ll be starving when she does wake. We stopped once about ninety minutes in, but she slept the remainder of the trip.
Glancing around, I recognize one of the ranch’s trucks on the street and count my breaths while looking only at the tiny human. If I don’t see the Flynn brothers, then they aren’t there…right? Please let it be the older brother. I’m not ready to faceDrew yet. I just need a few hours to settle in, and then I’ll hunt him down. Maybe.
It’s been eleven months since I laid eyes on Drew, when he made it clear that we couldn’t keep doing this. Whateverthiswas. We’d been on and off in secret for years, only getting together when he and his brother Declan visited Gavin on their way to pick up horses in Kentucky. He’d told me he loved me. And I had been naïve enough to believe him.
Things are different now. I’m not here for Drew. Not really. I’m here for Kaia.
And with that thought, I steel myself for the heartache that is sure to come.
Chapter 2
Drew
The neon sign flashes in the window as I hesitate outside the door of Riley’s Bar and Grill. The person on the other side of that door may be my best friend, but I can already feel the ass chewing he’s about to serve up.
I take a breath and hold it before exhaling and going inside. It’s best to get this over with.
As soon as I enter, I spot Jace. He’s built like a linebacker and impossible to miss. He always attracts the ladies, and at first, I think today is no different as a brunette drapes herself over the bar. On second look, I realize it’s our friend Jett trying to reach the ketchup bottle there.
I slip behind the bar unnoticed and grab a glass and a bottle of whiskey before pouring two fingers and taking a seat on the other side of the bar, closest to the jukebox that hasn’t worked since we were kids.
Jett still hasn’t noticed me, and I’d usually give her a hard time about her lack of awareness, but there’s too much on my mind today.
“Hey, man.” Jace’s deep voice startles me as it booms across the empty bar. “I’ll be there in just a second. Gotta get this shipment put away real quick.”
