Page 19 of Saving Grace
“Then I made stupid choices that should’ve cost me my life and almost cost a perfectly good horse his. Then I ignored you. Left you on your own when you needed me.”
“Gavin wanted to tell Declan, but I didn’t want to pressure you into this. You didn’t ask for this responsibility,” I say, nodding down at Kaia. “I considered all the options in depth and knew I couldn’t live with myself if I wasn’t the one raising her. Even if I had to do it alone.” I look up at Drew and offer a watery smile. “Would it have been easier if you’d been at appointments with me or in the delivery room or helping during the nights since she’s been born? Sure. But I honestly wasn’t sure if you’d checked your messages or if you—” I cut myself off, because, inmy gut, I know the thoughts I had about why he never called or showed up weren’t accurate. Still, Drew keys into my thoughts, his entire body sagging in defeat.
“I will never stop apologizing for missing so much time. But, Leila, hear me when I say this. I would have been there if I had known. And now that I do? She’ll never know a day without me again.”
I nod, unable to form the words I want to say. I shouldn’t need to hear those words out loud, but relief soars through me anyway.
“Did Gavin at least go with you?” he asks. “I hate to think you had to do anything by yourself.”
“Yeah, he’s been there for everything. The dude’s a freakin’ saint, Drew. He has to be tired of me.” Sighing, I lean my head back and stare at the ceiling fan as it slowly spins. I rub at my eyes, hoping like hell the moisture gathering doesn’t leak over. I’m exhausted.
“What can I do, right now, to lighten the load for you?”
I choke on a wet laugh, silently apologizing to Kaia as I displace her suction. Helping her relatch, I look back at Drew, expecting to see…I don’t know what.
Shaking my head, I shrug one shoulder before letting it drop heavily. Words don’t come as emotions threaten to spill over. Without a word, Drew is up and dropping to his knees before me. His fingers wrap around my calves, squeezing lightly as he looks up at me through thick lashes. I suck a breath as his deep blues stare through my defenses.
“What are you doing?” I whisper, the words so quiet he probably wouldn’t hear them if he wasn’t this close.
His eyes flick to our daughter as she pops off of me. “Will she nap for a while?”
“In theory, if I can transfer her without waking her.”
“Does she have somewhere other than your room?”
“The nursery is set up. We just don’t really use it much yet. Why?”
“Go lay her down in there then come back out here,” he says softly, giving another squeeze to my legs before standing and offering me a hand.
“Drew.”
“Don’t argue, sunshine.” The set of his jaw and the determination in his gaze stop me from saying anything more as I stand and do as he says. Kaia wiggles a little but settles once I tuck a light blanket around her hips. I’m sure she’ll kick it off in no time, but it always makes her feel secure during her naps since she isn’t swaddled.
“She settled?” Drew asks as I walk back to him.
I lift the hand with the monitor in it to show him that she’s peacefully sleeping.
He nods, pulling me into his arms and dropping a kiss on my forehead. “Now, you’re going to go take a hot shower or a bath and not worry about her,” he says, slipping the monitor from my fingers.
Chapter 10
Drew
Ican almost see the wheels turning in Leila’s head as she considers my command. The second she opens her mouth to argue against it, I cover her lips with my thumb.
“Shower or bath. I don’t care which. Stand under hot water, soak in it, daydream, shave, read a book. Whatever you want.” I spin her to face the hallway and swat her butt. “Go. Now.”
She huffs as she walks away, and I swear I hear her whisper “bossy cowboy” as she closes her bedroom door.
I grin at her retreating form. She hasn’t changed a lick. Honestly, she’s probably even more stubborn now that she has someone else to look out for. Leila Grace has always been a force to be reckoned with. She’s fiery, strong, and one of the goodest people I know. Everything she went through as a teen would have ruined most. I know she still has nightmares, but she came out on top. She’d still give the shirt off her back, step in whenever it’s needed.
But the girl needs to take care of herself.
I know she thinks she only closed her eyes for a second when she was nursing, but those gorgeous greens stayed closed forseveral minutes as she dozed off. It wasn’t until Kaia kicked a little foot that she snapped awake and I moved forward to kneel before her.
I wait until I hear water running in the pipes to start doing what I can to help straighten up. It isn’tmessy, but I don’t want Leila dealing with dirty dishes or swapping the laundry. It only takes a minute to fold the clean towel load and switch the wash to the dryer, but I hesitate on starting a new load until I find the laundry detergent with a baby on the front. Dumping the basket of tiny garments in and adding the soap, I cross my fingers nothing in there is supposed to skip the wash.
The little monitor stays glued to my hand as I move through the house, tidying anything I can. Just as I’m about to sneak into the nursery to watch Kaia sleep, the front door opens, my brother’s best friend coming home.
