Page 12 of Saving Grace
Hopefully, he’ll be able to get Kaia back down. She’s only been asleep for about a half hour, and this mama needs a break from the cluster feeds that still haven’t eased.
I sling the door open, ready to chew out the delivery guy for not reading the drop-off instructions, but then I freeze.
Oh so slowly, my gaze travels from the worn-out cowboy boots to the stacked and broken-in jeans. The gray V-neck that stretches tight over a well-muscled chest. Black ink peeking out of both sleeves, the intricate designs I used to know intimately.
I study the light stubble on his jaw, not letting my eyes travel any higher. If I don’t look up, maybe he’ll disappear.
“Hey, Leila Grace.”
So much for goingpoof.
Every possible emotion flows through me at the sound of my name on his lips.
Anxiety. Fear. Exuberance.
Hope.
Gavin’s footsteps and Kaia’s fussy whimpers sound behind me. “Was it the groceries? I think she wants another feed. She’s trying to eat me through my shirt. Doesn’t believe me when I tell her she won’t get any of the good stuff by latching on to cotton.”
I finally force my eyes to meet the man who walked away without a second glance. The one who has had my heart in his ironclad grip since I was ten years old. The one who promised me forever.
Drew Flynn.
Andrew Malakai Flynn, to be specific.
“Not groceries,” I finally choke out, although I know Gavin is close enough to see that for himself.
The fear and anxiety I’m feeling? It looks like it’s about tenfold on Drew’s face as he takes in Kaia’s tiny body against Gavin’s broad chest.
“Had an errand to run for Dad and was hoping…is that…” he trails off, his expression shifting to one of awe. It’s enough to kick my brain back into gear.
Grabbing Drew’s hand and pulling him inside so I can shut the door to the heat, I gently take Kaia from Gavin and promptly place her in Drew’s unexpecting arms.
“You woke her with the doorbell. You get to hold her while I prep her bottle.” I do at least make sure he has her cradled against himself, and when I say he looks good holding a baby? Our daughter? I think my ovaries just cried for another.
I hear Gavin guiding Drew to the living room and helping him settle on the couch. Should I have pushed her on him that quickly? Probably not. But I’ve played this scenario out multiple times every day for the last forty-plus weeks, and none of those times were smooth sailing.
It’s wild. Even through the heartache of losing whatever connection we had, I always knew Drew would be a great dad. He can handle anything, just like my dad always did.
Quickly pulling out one of the bottles I pumped earlier and setting it under the hot running water of the sink, I peek around the opening of the living room. Drew is a natural, just like I knew he’d be. He has Kaia curled against his chest as he gently bounces in place, bobbing a pacifier against her gums with his free hand as a distraction. It’s working for the moment.
By the time the bottle is warm and I step back into the living room, Drew’s face has morphed into one of pure adoration. Exactly what I’d known—what I’d hoped deep down, anyway—would happen when he held Kaia for the first time. I step forward and offer him the bottle, and that flash of fear that I see on my own face every day when I look in the mirror appears on Drew’s.
“I haven’t bottle fed anything more than a calf a few years ago.”
Gavin coughs to hide his laugh, but the crinkles around his eyes give him away.
“Go on, you big goof. Quit hovering,” I say, playfully shoving my brother from the room as I take a breath and let myselfsink into the comfort Drew’s presence has always brought me. “Ignore him,” I tell Drew.
“Am I holding her right?”
“She’d fuss if you weren’t.” I hand over the bottle.
Kaia nuzzles into his arm before he has it turned, already smelling it. Girl loves her food, that’s for sure.
The silence grows between us, only Kaia’s suckling noises filling the room. I have more than a few words for the man across from me, but he searched us out. I stay silent until he finally cracks.
“You should hate me,” he says, his whisper pained.
