Page 64 of Kissing Chaos
“I forgot you were here earlier,” I whisper, still struggling to believe it. “I don’t know that it was so muchforgotas it was just not being on edge with someone in my space. Normally, I’m tense and wanting my weighted blankets until everyone is out of my hair. But I wasn’t. I mean, I was under my blanket, but that was just because it was cozy.”
His arms squeeze a little tighter in a hug before easing back up. “So, why’d you tense up when you realized that?” he asks.
“Because I wasn’t expecting to get swallowed in emotional realizations shortly after sex.”
His quiet laugh rumbles through his chest, his breath tickling my ear.
“Why are you laughing at me?”
“I’m not, I promise. You’re adorable. All of you.” He sighs as I tense up again, my back becoming rigid under his dutiful fingertips. “Help me out here, gorgeous.”
“I feel like you’re making fun of me.”
“Never. You are perfect,” he whispers into my ear with a kiss. “This. Whatever we are doing. Whatever you want us to be or not be. You need to communicate with me. Tell me what you want or what you don’t like, yeah?”
“I’ve never been comfortable asking for what I want.”
“Then you’ve been with the wrong kind of man. Tell me what you want. Always. If you don’t like something. If you want me to do something else or try something different. I never want you to be afraid of me judging you for what you want. Everything you think, say, feel—it all matters. Remember that, yeah?” Heruns his fingers through my hair, gently massaging my scalp as he goes, and I snuggle deeper into his side.
“Even if it’s stupid?” I ask, feeling vulnerable.
“Have I ever made you feel that way, chaos?”
I shake my head. “I constantly feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop with you. Like you’re too good to be true. You’re like this giant, lovable teddy bear disguised as a grizzly around everyone else, but I’m scared that I’m just seeing what I want. After Joey…” I trail off.
“I promise you I’m only into you. No other person has ever held my heart and soul like you do. I told you before. You are it for me.”
“Your chaos?” I ask tentatively as he palms the back of my head and pulls me close.
“My bold, beautiful chaos.”
27
Jett
“So, do you like this color scheme, or do you want to go brighter?” Kelsey asks.
My eyes flit from paint card to paint card as we sit in the front of the café. I can feel the anxiety building in my chest.
The grand opening of The Write Brew is right around the corner, and Kelsey has decided we need to repaint the café and the new book room—even though the guys already installed the bookshelves. Between serving customers and keeping the counter stocked, we have been moving non-stop.
“You already let me name it when it’s mostly yours to begin with. I think you should pick the colors. I’m good with whatever. I swear,” I say.
“My sweet, cautious Jett. You, my dear, need to live. This isyourdream that we are bringing to life.” The dreamy look on Kelsey’s face puts a smile on mine. I never expected to find such a solid friendship when we started putting this plan into action, but I am beyond grateful. Even still, I shake my head, adamantly against claiming this dream as mine alone.
“It’s your café, Kels. I’m just adding books.”
“We are doing this together. You own half. Besides, I want to change things up… Tell you what. Your favorite color is purple, right?”
I nod, a little scared of where she’s going with this, but also willing to let her ease some of the decision fatigue.
“Okay, so I’ll just pick one of these that have the purple theme. How’s that?”
“Whatever you want to do, Kels. Really. I’m so far out of my comfort zone here. Are we really three weeks out from the Summer Market already?”
The bell on the door chimes, and Noah slips in.
“Hi, gorgeous. What are you guys up to? Picking colors?
