Page 36 of Kissing Chaos
I don’t try to stop the grin that spreads.“And what exactly is ‘Squishy?’”
The blush that was fading quickly resurfaces.
“Nothing. It’s fine. You can go.”
Finally giving into the urge, I pull her close and wrap my arms around her. “No judgment, remember? Whatever Squishyis, I will help you look.” The sweet satisfaction of her burying her head deeper into my chest as she answers is the highlight of my year so far.
“It is a round character pillow that’s made of some kind of squishy material. Bright purple and turquoise. It was in a doom pile, but I don’t know which one.”
“Hell, I don’t know what a doom pile is, but I’m fairly certain Squishy is hiding under that big pile of yarn in the corner.”
Jett spins so fast, I expect her to tumble over. As her eyes locate the brightly colored item, her shoulders sag in relief. The sweetest smile when she looks back at me with thanks is worth the lack of sleep.
With the pillow squeezed against her chest, she slinks back into my arms, letting me hug her close.
“Want to talk about what caused the dumping of doom boxes at three in the morning?” I press. I don’t want to push her too much, but she needs to get whatever triggered this off her chest. I won’t let her stew in her thoughts if I can help it. Instead of fighting me on it, though, Jett spills.
“Joey, my ex, texted me wanting to meet up and talk. Apparently, he has things he wants to get off his chest.” I think the laugh she lets loose is supposed to be sarcastic, but it just sounds sad.
“Do you want to talk to him?”
She shakes her head against my chest, and I can’t help but hold her closer, kissing the top of her head.
“Do you want to hear what he has to say?”
Again, she shakes her head.
“Then don’t.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Oh, but it is. ‘No’ is a full sentence. If you don’t want to do something, that’s all there is to it. No one can force you into it. We don’t need people-pleasers. We need self-pleasers.”
She keeps shaking her head, not looking at me. “He was good to me. Kept me on track. Tolerated me.”
“I’m gonna have to stop you right there, sweetheart.”
“What do you meanstop me?”She glances up through her lashes, and I want to beat the guy senseless for causing such self-doubt in such a phenomenal human being.
“Listen carefully to me. Commit these words to your memory. You are beautiful, inside and out. Anyone who isn’t cherishing every ounce of you doesn’t deserve to breathe the same air as you.”
Our bodies are so close now from me pulling her against me that a piece of paper would not fit between us as I stare deep into those gorgeous green eyes, taking in the golden flecks.
“Embrace the chaos.”
14
Jett
Embrace the chaos.
Taking comfort from the hand on my hip and confidence from the fact that Noah didn’t bolt at his first glimpse of my meltdown. I do it. I embrace it.
I rise up on tiptoes while simultaneously tangling a hand in the hair at the nape of his neck. It’s a gentle brushing of lips, barely classifying as a kiss, but it sets off dynamite inside my chest.
I’ve never felt anything like it.
I settle back onto my heels, taking in the heat of Noah’s gaze. He has not made his desires to build something with me a secret. I’m not that naive. Whether it is a relationship or just getting in my pants, I know he’s doing the friend thing with alternative motives. Maybe that’s why I am comfortable being this bold, because it is definitely out of character for my typical self.
