Page 41 of Kissing Chaos
“I never meant to make you feel like I was judging you, Jett. I’m really sorry.”
“Somewhere up here”—I tap my forehead— “I know you didn’t. I just want to remind you that words hurt, especially when you’re as sensitive as me.”
“So…are things with you and Slater serious?”
“Are you going to keep hating him?”
He groans, head rolling back as he stares up at the clouds. “I don’thatethe guy.”
“Could have fooled me.”
It’s Reece’s turn to look away from me. “I know he didn’t deserve to be treated like that. Jace already ripped me a new one, and I’ve apologized to Noah.”
“Really?”
“We had a good talk after slingin’ some bales in the rain. Came to an understanding.”
“I’m drawn to him, Reece. Like, really.” I shift the conversation back to me, feeling awkward discussing my not-relationship. “He feels like that weighted blanket you got me a few birthdays ago. Like nothing can hurt me when I’m wrapped up in him.” I look away, embarrassed that I shared that much. I hadn’t meant to, but the words are true. Noah Slater is my save haven.
“Does Noah know that?” he asks, drawing me back in.
I shake my head. “Too scared to say it out loud to him. It’ll make everything too real. He already wants to date me, but I don’t think I’m ready for that.”
“I saw how you were with him on move-in day. As much as I hate to admit it, he may be good for you.”
I nod. “I know he is. I wish we’d found each other sooner. One touch and my mind goes quiet. But I’m still terrified that I’m diving into this too quickly. I mean, Joey and I were together for two years before things went south. What if the same happens with Noah? And we’ve known each other for all of six weeks.”
“What if it doesn’t, though? What if he proves you right and helps you go after your dream, helps you be amazing. Do you really want to go down the ‘what if’ rabbit hole?”
“No,” I mutter stubbornly.
“Don’t hate me for saying this.” His hands shoot up defensively at the look I give him. “I think it’s time you talked things out with Joey.”
“What? No.” No way am I willingly letting him stomp on my heart again.
“I’m pissed at the guy for hurting you, don’t get me wrong. But you never said your piece on it all. I think that’s why everything with him is still hanging over you.”
“You been talking to Kristen or something?”
“I may have talked to her on occasion.”
My jaw drops to the ground. It has to. No way my brother has gone to the town shrink.
“Quit letting the flies in. She’s Declan’s wife and a good friend. She has had more opportunities than you’d think to pick my brain.”
“I guess so.”
“Think about it. Talk to McKenna about it. Or even Noah. See what he thinks. You know he wants whatever is going to help you move forward with him. From the sounds of it, that man is smitten.”
A blush creeps up, staining my neck and cheeks.
“I know it’s not worth much, but I am sorry that my words made things more difficult for you.”
“It’s made me grow and figure out how to take care of myself even when things feel too tough. The hard part has been hearing your voice on repeat saying that I’m incapable of caring for myself when that was never the issue.”
“I didn’t realize how your relationship worked. From the outside, it always seemed like she controlled everything. I didn’t realize you wanted it that way. I said it to get a rise out of McKenna, and I’m sorry.”
“Thank you,” I say softly.
