Page 15 of Searching for Elizabeth
Lizzy rejoiced in the beauty around her. But as she approached the cottage again, and her stomach rumbled quite decidedly, she felt tendrils of her worries unfurling within her. She rounded the corner of the house to approach the front door—and she stopped, astonished.
Mr. Darcy stood there. He had clearly been waiting a while, because he was not standing straight and stiff, as usual, but instead was leaning back against the door. But when she appeared, he straightened and smiled.
His smile floored her.It alsoflooded her with warmth and tingles, a feeling unlike anything she had ever experienced before. She felt as if she was some sillychild, some Lydia-like girl, responding to a handsome man’s smile so strongly.
She realized that she was smiling back, and she quickly bent to the task of unlocking the door. When she opened it andcrossed over the threshold, she turned back to Mr. Darcy and gave him a saucy smile as she said, “Welcome.”
He entered the cottage and looked around, not showing any sign of disapprobation, but instead looking surprised and appreciative.
Lizzy started lighting candles, and she was incredibly embarrassedwhenher stomach growled again.
Mr. Darcy ignored the sound (he was, apparently, very much the gentleman) and said, “I am very glad to see you, MissElizabeth.” He held out a large bundle wrapped in linen. “I brought you some food,” he explained. Then his hand went to one of the pockets of his great coat, and he pulled out a relatively small bottle and added, “And some wine.”
Lizzy felt tears spring into her eyes. She suddenly felt more grateful for this food and drink than she ever had for any other comestibles in her entire life. But she was pretty sure that the main thing she was grateful for was this man’s apparent dedication to searching for her. She said, “Please, be seated in one of my most elegant chairs. Perhaps this Neoclassical chair?”
Mr. Darcy sat in what was actually an old Elizabethan style chair with an extremely threadbare cushion. His eyes alight with happiness, Mr. Darcy said, “I see you have elected to furnish your home with an eclectic style.”
“Oh, yes,” Lizzy said as she untied the knots of his food parcel. “I find it especially charming to combine Egyptian and Classical motifs with earlier Gothic elements.
“I quite agree. No one who saw the result could find it wanting.” Mr. Darcy’s eyes crinkled, his smile was so wide.
As Lizzy eagerly laid out the foods on the table, she asked, “How on earth did you find me? Did Mary tell?”
“Miss Mary promised to ask you if I could call, the next time she saw you, but she would not divulge your whereabouts. She did, however, tell me the name of your cottage, and I admit that it helped me find the place. There are a lot of blackthorn bushes leading to it; still, it took me many hours of riding and walking, over the course of three days, to find the cottage.”
Lizzy thrilled at his words. They seemed to indicate far more regard for her person than she could have imagined in anyone other than her family. And apparently, from what she had heard from Mary, no one in her family had bothered tosearch for her.
Trying to shake off that particular thought,Lizzyselected a smoked sausage, an apple, a jar of pickled cucumbers, and two potatoes, and sheputthe rest of the food away in a small cupboard. She laughed as she took a big bite of the apple before she got busy getting out a cutting board and knife, a cast iron pan, and a wooden box that contained butter. “Forgive me for eating a bit of our dinner, Mr. Darcy, but I am so, sohungry.”
He chuckled, shaking his head, and asked, “Do you know how to cook?”
“Oh, yes. I know very, very well how to cook very, very ill.” Her laugh bubbled up again. “I cannot promise delicious food to your delicate sensibilities, but I warrant that it will taste delightful to me…because any food would in my current state!”
Lizzy wasgratified that Mr. Darcy laughed along with her, although he also shifted in his chair and crossed his legs. She hoped he was not too uncomfortable.
She felt strangely animated as she cut and buttered and stirred the dinner.Having been even more starved for conversation than for food, shebrought up many topics to discuss: the Anglo-Spanish victory at Arroyo Molinos;comparisons oftheir favorites of Shakespeare’s tragedies, and their favorites of his comedies; Mozart’sThe Marriage of Figaro, and opera as an art form; and the journal of the Lewis and Clark expedition. Mr. Darcy had interesting things to say about each and every topic. But she appreciated even morethe apparent enjoymenthe took in hearing her own ideas.
The completed dinner looked like nothing Lizzy had ever eaten before, but it was tasty and filling. They continued their chat about art, literature, and the world—both steering clear of any mention ofLizzy’s parents, Mr. Collins, or a certain banishment. After they had eaten and Lizzy had cleared the table, she presented herself in front of Mr. Darcy. She put her hands on her hips as if she was challenging him, and she asked, “Well, tell me, wasdinnernot delightful?”
Mr. Darcy stood, and he smiled, but his smile was more gentle and tender now, instead of being radiant and blinding like before. He reached out for her hands, as if they were about to dance, and she allowed him to hold them.
Unlike at a ball, neitherwas wearing gloves. The shock of skin-on-skin touch stirred Lizzy even more than Mr. Darcy’s smile had, but his grasp was too warm and too comforting to relinquish.
He said, “Miss Elizabeth, I find myself utterly filled with delight. Your dancing eyes and dazzling smile are delightful sights, your contralto voice and bubbling laugh are delightful sounds, the slight whiff of lavender is a delightful aroma, and your smooth skin and pounding pulse—” and, as he said thatlast bit, Mr. Darcy stroked his thumb over her wrist, and Lizzy realized just how quickly her heart was beating—“are delightful to my touch. The dinner cooked by your hands was…unique? I want to say…special? But, yes, also delightful, and I can only imagine how delightful it would be to taste you.”
His words pleased Lizzy but also shocked her; she felt the compliment but also the danger, and she realized for the first time just howunprotectedshe was, a maiden alone in a cottage with an unmarried man.
She rushed into speech, trying to ward offanypotential ruination. “Mr. Darcy, I just realized how much I have broken the rules of propriety by being here with you. And I am not mostly talking about the end of your speech just now, which might be impossibly improper, but I do not really know enough to judge that.” She pulled her hands back, and he immediately let them go. “I will not be forced to marry Mr. Collins, and I do not want you to be forced to marry me, nor do I want to be forced to marry you.”
“Miss Elizabeth,” Mr. Darcy replied, taking a step away from her, “I apologize for my improper speech.” He blushed and said, “Honestly, before I said the last dozen words out loud, I did not realize howscandalousthey would sound.”
He drew his hand through his hair and said, “I want you to know that I spoke to your father, in a more official way, and to your sister Mary, in a friend-to-friend way; what I said to them both, separately, is that my intentions are honorable. I wish to get to know you better, and I hope that you will agree with mybeliefthat we would do very well together.Although I do not want to rush you into having to accept or refuse a proposal at this time, I do want to assure you that I wish to marry you.”
“Oh!”
Mr. Darcy finished by saying, “Dearest, loveliest Elizabeth, you have nothing to fear from me about compromise, ruination, rumors, orforcedmarriage. I promise that I will not breathe a word about my presence in this cottage to anyone, at any time. Unless, of course, you authorize me to tell someone. For example, I am to call on Miss Mary tomorrowafternoon. If you wish me to give her any message or assurance, I will endeavor to speak to her privately so that I can do so.”
Lizzy’s anxieties had been soothed, for the most part, but she released the last vestiges of her nerves in a laugh. “Wait, what is this? Are you calling on and courting me, or are you calling on and courting Mary?”
