Page 21 of Searching for Elizabeth
Mary rushed on, “Jane said something about her poor nerves, Lizzy, and my eyes almost bulged right off my face, as you can imagine, and then Jane said, ‘You do not know what I have to bear.’” Mary sighed. “But then she started blaming me for trying to dominate all of your time and attention, Mr. Darcy, and she said that you must have been upset, and that she had done nothing that could have upset you, so I must have….”
“I assure you, Miss Mary, that it was Miss Jane Bennet’s flirtation that upset me. I was certainly never angry at you.”
Lizzy asked, “How did you respond to Jane, Mary?”
“I told her the truth,” Mary asserted. Lizzy flinched a bit, and Mary hurried to assure her that she did not say anything about her whereabouts, or the cottage. “But I did say that Mr. Darcy only called on us the day after the ball to talk to you, Lizzy, and then the next day, he called to speak more to me about you.”
She turned to Mr. Darcy and said, “I hope I did right by saying these things. I know we talked about pretending that you had interest in me, but I made it totally clear to Jane that that was never the case. I specifically said that you wanted to court Lizzy and had no romantic designs on any other Bennet sister.” She cast her eyes down and blushed. When she looked up again, she asked, “I know that is accurate, but was it appropriate for me to say?”
Mr. Darcy nodded. “I think it was perfectly appropriate, Miss Mary. After all, I already told your father that I wished to marry Miss Elizabeth.”
Lizzy was happy to see Mary relax, and to see her smile finally reach her eyes. Mary asked her, “You think I did the right thing, too, I hope?”
“Certainly I do.” Lizzy got up and gave her sister a hug.
Mary turned back to address Mr. Darcy again. “I think my mother has asked Jane over and over again about Mr. Bingley and about you. She asked Jane several times in my hearing if she had put any effort at all into trying to gain your interest, and she has asked her if she was able to secure your attention. I do not blame Jane for feeling upset about all those questions. I think Mama has told her a million and one times that she is not ‘so beautiful for nothing’ and that her destiny is to save us all by marrying well.”
Mr. Darcy said, “I understand that many mothers give similar messages to their daughters—that theymustmarry well—even when there is no financial hardship looming in the future. I cannot enjoy the way your mother chortles over a man’s income or plots to achieve a particular marriage, but at least she has very valid reasons to fear what might happen if her daughters do not make advantageous marriages.”
Lizzy nodded. “I see your point, sir. Mama is not necessarily trying to secure wealth for herself or her daughters, but she is definitely attempting to ward off disaster.”
“Still,” Mr. Darcy said, “it does no one any good at all to lay blame on any of her daughters. The blame for her worries belongs to the entail and perhaps to your father, who likely could have increased your future security by makingimprovements to Longbourn and reducing spending in the house.”
Mary looked quite thoughtful. Lizzy nodded. “It is hard for me to like anyone in my family right now, other than Mary.” She shot her sister a wide smile, but as she continued, she could feel her smile tremble and then disappear. “In the past, I thought Jane to be perfect, and I believed my father to be quite wonderful. I know it is childish to put people so high up on pedestals that they must crash down at some point, but I suppose that, feeling that I could take the measure so accurately of Mama and Lydia and Aunt Phillips, I could be excused a bit of childish adoration for my favorite parent.”
Mary said, “Well, if you can stand a little more pedestal knocking, I have yet to tell you the worst thing that Jane said to me. She said, ‘If Mr. Darcy does come back, you will not say anything to him, you will not sit near him, you will not walk with him. You must leave him to me. I am the only one who has a chance with him, now that Lizzy is gone.’”
Lizzy gasped; Mr. Darcy frowned. He reached out a hand and took Miss Mary’s in it, pressing her hand lightly; when she looked at him, he seemed to have to force a smile onto his face. He said, “There is no other for me than Miss Elizabeth, but I have always looked on you with more favor than I have Miss Bennet. You must not believe the opinions your mother and eldest sister seem to have concerning you.”
Feeling grateful, Lizzy tried to express her thanks with a smile. Then, looking back at Mary, she said, “I feel like I have never known Jane. Mary, do not worry about hurting my feelings; I need to know the truth. Does Jane seem at all worried about me? Or even just curious about where I am?”
Mary hesitated, took a deep breath, and said, “She seems more upset than usual, but from what I can see, she is upset about Mr. Bingley leaving and now Mr. Darcy no longer calling. She is obviously agitated about Mama’s constant wailing and her endless questions about ‘What happened between you and Mr. Bingley?’ and ‘Did you see any interest at all from Mr. Darcy?’ I…honestly, I am not at all sure if she worries about or even thinks about you. I am sorry to say that, and it may just be that I am not privy to her thoughts and feelings.”
Keeping her face very still, Lizzy felt the hurt, but she also felt resolution. She was determined not to let defection on Jane’s part derail her own efforts to be happy.
“Speaking of Miss Bennet,” Mr. Darcy said, drawing a letter from his pocket, “I wanted to tell you that I received a letter from Bingley, and he did not speak of Miss Bennet at all. Or ask about her. I am not positive what that means, but I thought I should share.”
Lizzy unfolded the letter and made a face. “This is a challenge,” she murmured to Mary as she placed the letter between them, so they could decrypt it at the same time.
“Oh, my,” Miss Mary said. “This is from a man who attended Eton and Cambridge?”
“Yes,” Mr. Darcy said. “Not only attended, but graduated from both.”
Lizzy and Mary pointed to and read out loud the bits of the letter that they could read. They asked one another about a few spots, and between the two of them, they managed to read the entire thing. Lizzy refolded the letter and handed it back to Mr. Darcy without comment.
Mary said, “Well, Mr. Darcy, please do not be insulted on behalf of your friend, but I must say that Mr. Bingley is not my favorite person in the world. However, he does still remain my favorite of all the Bingleys of my acquaintance.”
They all laughed.
Lizzy felt more light-hearted again, and she was glad that Mary had thus raised her spirits. She said, “Mr. Darcy, this letter has a great deal of explanatory power!”
“It does?”
“Yes, it most certainly does. Now I know why Miss Bingley said fourteen different praises about your handwriting, the evenness of your lines, your skill with your pen. She was obviously comparing your skill to her brother’s!”
Soon Mary made her excuses and rushed off, again worried that her absence from Longbourn would be noticed and punished.
Lizzy and Mr. Darcy sat in companionable silence for several minutes. Finally, Lizzy asked, “Have you tired of me so quickly, Mr. Darcy?”
