Page 21 of The Tree of Spirits
“No, I’m an awesome person, Red.” He flashed me a grin. “But a pretty abysmal Knight.”
“Nonsense. The first time we met, you saved my brother and my best friend from the Cursed Ones. And today you saved Marlow. You always do the right thing. You have a good heart.”
His gaze dropped to the hand I’d placed over his heart, and I quickly withdrew it, my cheeks flushed.
“There’s more to being a good Knight than doing the right thing.” He rocked back on his heels.
“Such as?” I set my glass down on the counter.
He snatched it up and took a sip. “A good Knight follows orders.” Sighing, he returned the glass to the counter. “And I’ve never been very good at that.”
“Is this about how you’re not supposed to be investigating all of this?”
“It’s about a lot more than just that.” Conner slouched over, something I’d never seen from a Knight. So many things danced across his face: sadness, regret, defiance.
I set my hands on his arms. “You risked your life to save a complete stranger, Conner. I think that makes you an excellent Knight.”
He didn’t look convinced.
“I’m serious,” I said. “You’re brave, selfless, kind…”
A slow smile crept up his lips. “Stop,” he drawled. “You’re making me blush.”
I tightened my grip on his arms. I waited for him to meet my eyes before I spoke. “I’m serious.”
“I know. You’re quite good at being serious. It’s cute.”
I scowled at him, dropping my hands to my sides. “If you’re just going to joke?—”
“Wait.” He caught my hand as I turned away.
I pivoted back around and waited.
“Thank you.” All of the bravado had faded from his smile. He looked unsettled, even uncertain. “I know I joke around a lot, but I want you to know that your words mean a lot to me.”
“And your help means a lot to me.”
He brushed his hand softly across my cheek…then plucked something out of my hair. He showed it to me.
I squinted at the mysterious piece of twisted metal. “What is it?”
“Debris from the battle in the Park. There’s more of it.” He reached toward me, then froze. “May I?”
“Of course. I definitely don’t want to go around looking like I fell into a trash can.”
Conner retrieved debris from my hair, the hood of my sweatshirt, even my shoelaces.
“Wow, that’s a lot of junk,” I said, staring down at the pile of wires and broken metal shards that he’d deposited on the kitchen counter.
“Well, there were a lot of explosions,” he pointed out.
I cringed at the reminder. My hands started shaking.
“Hey, are you ok?” Concern furrowed his brow.
“It’s funny. When we were there, in the middle of that battle, I…well, sure, I was scared, but my mind was also kind of clear,you know? But now, when I remember it…” I looked at my shaking hands. “…like, standing here, I know I’m safe right now, but when I think back to that battle, it’s somehow much worse, much scarier than when I was living through it. And it makes me feel…it makes me feel so lost and alone.” I choked out a laugh. “I guess that doesn’t make any sense, does it?”
“It makes perfect sense,” he replied. “When you were there, your mind was busy trying to find a way out of danger. You didn’t have time to really process that danger. And now you do. It’s normal, Red. All the Knights have felt that. All Knights get scared.”
