Page 71 of Beasts of Briar
He jerked back, his shadows flaring out. “Set them free? Gods, no. I don’t ever want to see them free again. They’re dangerous, Bellamy. They were dangerous back when they were free, and this time around? They will not hold back. They will reign down terror upon terror. You’re all the same to them. It won’t matter that the mortals of their era are dead and destroyed. They’ll want revenge for being trapped and all the elementals will suffer for it.”
I stared at him as he spoke, everything I’d heard about him, that I thought I knew about him, fading away. I believed him. I believed he was telling the truth.
Both relief and horror filled me. Relief that Kairoth wasn’t the monster everyone thought him to be. But horror at what he was saying. It was something we’d suspected, but hearing him confirm how deadly and powerful the gods were was terrifying.
“I’m not the hero, Bellamy.”
My gaze shot up to meet his.
“I know what you’re thinking. That maybe I’m not a monster. But I am. I’ve done monstrous things. I’ve killed so many people. I’ve taken so many shadows.” He gestured out past the cave, and I assumed he was referencing the Neverland boys. He shoved a hand through his hair. “The gods—we have to be continuously fed by our element to remain powerful. I have to take shadows, otherwise I grow weak, and if I grow weak, I cannot do what needs to be done. So I forced a pirate lord to do my bidding. To kidnap people no one would miss and bring them here so I could take their shadows and remain in power. The pirate lord is the one who chose orphans, boys with no homes, to bring here. It was clever. His own way of doing some good, I suspect. Giving these boys a home. I tried to make sure they were safe here, would want for nothing. Had a community. But at the end of the day, I still took their shadows, their freedom. I’m not good.”
“Maybe not,”I signed, thinking about all the creatures of the Wilds, thinking about the things I’d done that I regretted.“But you can be. Give the shadows back. Let the boys go free. You just took Driscoll’s and Leoni’s shadows. You can take mine next if you need to?—”
“No,” he said, voice firm, eyes flashing red. “Out of the question.”
I reached over and lay a hand on his arm.“You’re not a monster. A monster wouldn’t have regrets. A monster wouldn’t want to make things right. A monster wouldn’t be trying to convince me not to like him.”
His gaze was so intense on me that it felt hotter than the fire. “You continue to surprise me at every turn. I’ve been alive for thousands of years. I stopped being surprised by anything centuries ago. Until you,” he murmured, lips so close to mind I could almost taste them.
His words conjured the memory of just hours earlier, when I’d surprised myself by using my magic to fly.
“What’s wrong? You look pale.” His amber eyes flashed with concern.
“I can fly,”I signed slowly.“I never knew I could do such a thing.”
His jaw went slack before he recovered, his face slipping into a neutral expression. “You flew?”
I nodded, not wanting to explore what any of this might mean. My powers, the things I could do with them. It was starting to feel like maybe my father hadn’t been as truthful as I’d thought. But that was just another path I didn’t want to go down. Not tonight. Tonight I just wanted to shut my mind off to everything. Except him.
“Bellamy,” Kairoth started, but I surged forward to cut him off, pressing my lips right against his.
He froze, his lips so tender. I shifted in his lap, bringing my hands to his chest and awakening something in him. He growled, tightening his hold on me as he deepened the kiss. His hands moved around to the curve of my ass, and he cupped my bottom, lifting me toward him until I was straddling him, arms wrapped around his back while our mouths moved in unison. This felt so good. So damn good. I felt alive.
His cock stiffened against me, and my breath quickened just thinking about stripping my clothes away, stripping his clothes away, slipping myself over him and rocking together until we both couldn’t think anymore. Heat gathered between my legs, and I rubbed against him, making him moan deeply.
I moved to undo the laces on his trousers when his hands wound up into my hair, and he tensed. I moved my head back to send him a questioning look. Maybe he was regretting this already, but it didn’t look like regret on his face. It looked like worry.
“You’re burning up.” His hand was pressed against the back of my neck.
I shivered.
“Are you cold?” Concern laced his voice. “Fuck, you shouldn’t feel this hot. Something is wrong, Bellamy.”
I hadn’t noticed. First I’d been distracted by our conversation. Then I’d been distracted byotherthings, but now that he mentioned it, I realized I was trembling. All the aches and pains I’d been pushing away during our conversation surged forward. Spirits below, everything hurt so bad. My adrenaline had been pumping so hard after I’d awoken, I hadn’t noticed. Now it was impossible to ignore.
My head spun, my stomach turning with the way my body hurt.
“Bellamy?” Kairoth’s voice was distant, but I could hear the worry in it. He stroked my head. “Sleep. You need sleep.Tomorrow, I’ll get you back to the castle and we’ll have a healer look at you.”
I wanted to protest, to tell him to put his lips back on me, but my mind was growing fuzzy from the pain. I curled into myself. Bloody stars, I just wanted the pain to go away. My head pounded with it. My ankle pulsed. My hands felt like they were raw strips of meat.
“Sleep,” Kairoth commanded, and I wondered if he was leaving. His voice was so far away.
Maybe he would go back to the castle tonight, come back for me in the morning. A god wouldn’t sleep on a cave floor.
I blinked a few times, and I swore I saw his figure floating away in the dark, red eyes all around him.
“Sleep,” he said again, and this time, I listened, closing my eyes and letting myself drift off.
