Page 48 of Beasts of Briar
Her lips thinned, which made my own twitch.
“What was it like growing up in this place you call the Wilds?”
I hadn’t known what had become of the star court, only that it had been destroyed. But she’d said the Wilds had been cursed by the frost queen. By a magical item. It must’ve come from the shadow court, but it surprised me that any item from this island would have that much power to curse a whole court.
She paused, thinking for a moment.“It was wonderful.”
“But you said everyone who survived was turned into monstrous creatures?”
The first genuine smile I’d seen from her spread across her lips.
“Maybe I like the monsters. Maybe I feel more at home with monsters than I do with anyone else.”
Her words filled me with warmth. “But you’re not a monster,” I observed.
“I was in my mother’s belly, growing, when the curse happened. I was spared. Sort of.”She raised her hands. Starlight glowed over us, and her meaning became clear.
“Your magic? That’s why you’re so powerful? This curse?”
She nodded, but the answer didn’t sit right with me. There was more to it. There had to be. Yet I didn’t sense a lie in her answer. She truly believed that’s where all this power of hers came from.
“The Wilds are a dangerous place,”she continued.“But I loved the wonder of it all. I loved the strangeness, I loved thecreatures, I loved the way the world made sense. Nothing about any of this”—she gestured to the jungle around us—“makes sense.”
“Who lived with you in the Wilds?” I asked.
Her eyes welled with tears.“My father and brothers. They protected me. Until the very end. I miss them. I miss the simple things. All of us sitting in a room together reading our own books. The games we would play.”
She was signing the words, but I could tell they weren’t for me. She stared off into the distance, reliving the memories.
“We did everything together. My brothers were my fiercest protectors. They taught me to be strong. They taught me to read. They taught me to fight. They taught me to use my magic. They taught me to love. I had a special relationship with each of them, and even though they drove me mad sometimes, they were everything to me.”She picked at a piece of wood on the branch. “They liked to play a board game called m-a-p-o-r-a. I loved when I beat them because it didn’t happen very often...”
A flock of shadows burst from the canopies nearby and flew up into the air, and she jolted like she was realizing where she was and who she was talking to. Her eyes widened, and she cut herself off abruptly.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
She studied my face, and once again I got that distinct feeling she was looking straight through my shadows. Right at me.“For what?”
“For your loss.”
The corners of her eyes crinkled.“What would you know about loss?”
The words hit me hard, though she didn’t ask them unkindly, no sharp movements or a scowl on her face. Just an open curiosity.
“A lot, actually.” I shifted on the branch, making it wobble under us. “When I chose godhood, I left my old life behind. It wasn’t much of a life, truth be told. I was fleeing a war-torn land, looking for something better. But I did have family.” I swallowed thickly. “All of us immortals agreed that we needed to leave our old lives behind. That inviting family, people from the past, would only hinder us and our goals to build a new world.” I shoved a hand through my hair. “It never sat right with me, but I didn’t speak up. I was a coward, and eventually, my family died because of my cowardice.”
And I still blamed myself. I’d been so caught up in this new immortality that I’d left them behind. Of all the horrible things I’d done, that one filled me with the most guilt.
She studied me, peering at me with intensity in her gaze.“You’re so... human in some ways.”
“Is that a compliment, Bellamy?”
“No.”The curiosity vanished, replaced by scorn.“Just an observation.”
She was starting to open up to me, trust me. That made me bold with my next question. “Why are you using nettles to knit sweaters?”
A mischievous look gleamed in her eyes as she tilted her head and signed,“You already got your five questions.”
Ah. I’d gotten so caught up in our conversation, I hadn’t even been keeping track. “And you still have two more. Go on.” I gestured to her. “Ask them.”
