Page 97 of Beasts of Briar
He picked up a rock and threw it. It skittered over the surface of the pond. “Sometimes I wonder if I even want to be human again. I’m so used to this swan form, to being able to fly, to feeling wild and free. It’s hard to think about being confined to this again.” He gestured to his body.
My own body went cold at his words, and I grabbed his hands. “I know that might be how you’re feeling, but it’s because you’ve been trapped for almost sixty years. It’s confusing you. Confusing everyone.”
“Perhaps,” he murmured, then turned to me, peering at me with his deep brown eyes that always seemed to full of wisdom. “Have you heard from Father at all? From our stepmother?”
I stiffened at the mention of them. I’d avoided the topic of Father with my brothers, not wanting to upset them with the truth. I needed them focused on getting through this curse.
“What are you not telling me?” Soloman asked. “Killian and Klaus both said they brought it up with you, and you changed the subject.”
Soloman would be persistent. I wouldn’t be able to dodge his questions, not like I had with Killian and Klaus. “Father disappeared after all of you were cursed,” I admitted. “Which I assume you knew because you were there with me the whole time in the Wilds.”
“But what about now? Have you heard from him?”
I thought back to what I’d learned after I escaped the Wilds. “Father is alive,” I said.
Soloman’s shoulders slumped in relief.
“I haven’t seen him.” I took off my boots and dipped my toes in the warm water. “But from what I’ve heard he’s not well. He’s not in his right mind.”
Driscoll had told me that part. That he’d been incoherent, blubbering, a mess. It broke my heart thinking about my strong, intelligent father in that kind of state.
“Why haven’t you tried to visit his dreams?” Soloman asked, jaw tight. “You could see him, try and sort his mind out.”
It was a good question. I’d spent many nights over the years searching for my father, unable to find him, assuming he was dead. Now I knew where he was. Or, at least, I thought Iknew. He’d last been seen at the star castle. I’d known for three months, and still, I hadn’t gone to him.
“I’m angry with him,” I said finally.
If I admitted that to Jorah or Ryder, they’d likely reprimand me. Killian and Klaus would make light of it. Phoenix would try and teach me some lesson about familial loyalty. Marcello, who’d been the most sensitive of everyone so far, would probably start to cry. But not Soloman. Out of all my brothers, he was the one I could admit this to.
His gaze softened, and he patted my hand.
“You understand?” I asked.
He nodded. “He brought that woman into our lives. He let her treat us horribly. He let her manipulate him. So I get it. Part of me blames him too. You know, he was a really good father before she arrived.”
“I know,” I said.
I still remembered sitting on his lap as he read me stories, tickled me. He’d tuck me in every night and make us breakfast every morning. I almost hadn’t even felt like I needed a mother because he’d done both roles so well.
Until he met her.
“I know I should reach out.” I picked at a loose strand on my dress. “He’s probably alone and confused and missing us.”
“You don’t have to, Bell.” Soloman put his arm around me and I lay my head on his shoulder. “You already have a mother who denounced you. I don’t want you to have a father who does the same.”
My throat went dry. He struck right at the heart of the issue. Even if I’d never let myself admit it before this point, Soloman was right. What if Father didn’t recognize me? Or worse, what if his mind had been so twisted that he hated me now? Hated all of us? I didn’t think I could handle it. So I’d stayed away, hopingthat I could break this curse, and then me and all of my brothers could find my father together.
I grabbed Soloman’s hand. “Let’s just focus on breaking this curse. I will break it, Sol. And you will get used to being human again. I promise.”
He gave me a sad smile that splintered my heart. Smoke twined through the air. Soloman tilted his head, studying it as it wove between us.
“What is that doing here?” he asked.
I sniffed the air, the smell of ash and burning wood filling my nostrils.
“I’m not doing that...” I said, then jolted upward. “Something is wrong.”
“Go.” Soloman stood and gave me a tight hug. “And Bellamy? Be careful. If you get hurt again, I’m not sure I’ll be able to convince our brothers to let you keep doing this a second time.”
