Page 87 of Wilds of Wonder
“No one has ever made me feel the way that you do. I loved you before you had a name. Before you had a face.”
At that, her expression went slack, so I forged on.
“I know you’ve been hurt in the past, but I want to be your future. A bright future full of happiness and love and really good sex.”
She still said nothing, which only made me ramble on more.
“I know this isn’t the traditional way marriages are proposed. I don’t have any family heirlooms to present to you. I don’t have a wedding bracelet. I have nothing but my promise to love you until my dying day.”
I wished Annalee were here. She’d absolutely love this moment, the spontaneity and whimsy of it all. Mostly she’d just love Emory.
“You asked what I saw in that lake,” Emory said slowly, gaze trailing up to meet mine. “I think I need to tell you.”
“That’s not quite the answer I expected,” I said, voice teasing, but she didn’t return my smile. My stomach sank.
She took a deep breath. “I saw my future.” She waved a hand in explanation. “El mentioned a lake that foretells your future. She said to not look into it, and I tried not to. I tried to resist, but it drew me in anyway.” Her voice trembled, and I reached for her, but she scooted backward, drawing her knees up to her chest.
Her hair was still plastered to her head, rivulets of water trailing down her cheeks.
“What did you see?” I asked, not sure I wanted to know.
“I saw you.”
My heart swelled but immediately deflated at the sound of her voice, at the sadness in her gaze. Whatever she saw didn’t sound good.
“I saw you and me. Married.”
I let out a laugh. “That sounds perfect given I’m proposing a marriage to you right now. That’s what you saw? Our future together? Emory, you don’t know how long I’ve dreamed of that. With you?—”
“Stop!”
The force of her words took me aback.
Tears filled her eyes again. “I saw a marriage in which I was trapped. You were teaching at the academy, professor to adoring students, and I was just your wife. Once again, I was just somebody’s wife.”
“No.” I shook my head. That couldn’t be. I wouldn’t do that to her. “I don’t want to trap you. I want you to be free, Emory. You know that. Your passion and dedication to being a historian is what I love most about you.”
“You say that now, but you have no idea how things will change once we’re married. You’re going to need someone to run your household. You’re going to need someone to support you in your career.”
“I’ve gotten this far in life by myself.” I spread out my arms. “I don’t need anything.”
Except you.I didn’t say those words out loud. Not when she was already retreating.
“You know the worst part about that vision?” Emory asked, ignoring what I’d said.
I swallowed the growing lump in my throat. “What?”
“I could see how I’d become a shell of myself again, just like I was in my marriage to Gregory. You remember that day in the highlands? After I got Spirit Sky’s mask?”
I nodded, feeling numb, afraid if I opened my mouth, every single emotion and feeling would pour out, and then I’d lose Emory for good. This scared her, but I didn’t really believe it was because she thought I’d trap her. She had to know I never would. Something else was holding her back. I just didn’t know what.
She played with the frazzled end of her tunic. “We were laying side by side, and you wanted to see my face.”
I remembered. It was the day I realized I didn’t just want to spend one day a year with her. I wanted to spend every spirits-damned day with her.
“It scared me at the time.” She reached over and grabbed my hand, the brush of her fingers shooting sparks through me like it did every time we touched. “Because I realized I had feelings for you. And I was a married woman.”
My jaw locked. “You never betrayed your husband. You did nothing wrong.”
