Page 71 of Ship of Shadows
His eyes gleamed wickedly. “My mother taught me.”
It was so odd to think about Bastian Lore, feared pirate lord of the Dark Seas, having a mother. But of course he did.
“She and my father used to dance every night when he’d get home from working at the docks. He’d sweep her up in his arms and whisk her around the room while my sisters and I watched.” Bastian lifted our joined hands above his head and spun me around, then whirled me back into his arms, the whole exchange leaving me breathless.
“Okay, Bastian Lore,” I said in a teasing tone. “You really do know how to dance.”
He swayed me from side to side. “I always thought it was silly, truth be told. My dad dancing with my mom. Especially because he hated it. Had two left feet. Couldn’t keep any kind of rhythm. I asked him why he did it one day, and he told me it was because it made her happy.”
Pain reflected in his dark brown eyes.
“That’s really sweet,” I said.
“Aye.”
“That must have been hard, losing your parents when those pirates raided your town.”
“It was hard. One of the hardest things I’ve ever been through. Right before one of the pirates shoved a sword through his gut, my father told me to always look after my sisters, to protect them at any cost.” Bastian swallowed. “And my mother, well, right before they slit her throat, she told me not to forget to dance.”
Tears welled in my eyes. “She wanted you to remember the joys in life.”
He nodded as his hand flexed against my back, the smallest movement, but I felt it to my core.
He dipped me down, never faltering with his tight grip on me, and I thought about Liliath and Penn, how close they’d held each other in that ballroom, the same way Bastian was holding me right now.
Against all odds, those two found their way to each other. Maybe Bastian and I could do the same. Maybe it was naive and foolish and wishful thinking, but I couldn’t help but wonder... what if? What if there was an explanation for all of this?
“Bastian,” I whispered as he pulled me upright again. “The wall you’re putting up...”
He cocked his head. “Are you trying to tell me you want to climb me? Because I’m very amenable to that.”
I gave him a small shove. “Please tell me what’s going on. Tell me the truth about the boys you took, your connection with the shadow court.”
His shoulders tensed under my hand.
“Before you say no, just listen. You’ve kept secrets from me for your own reasons, and part of me wants to hate you for it. But I can’t because something in my gut is telling me there’s still hope.” I cupped his cheek with my hand, and he closed his eyes. “There’s hope when you dance with me under the stars. There’s hope when you dive into the sea to save me, even though you’re terrified of the water. There’s hope when you try to protect me from seeing my father’s bones on a beach.”
Bastian opened his eyes again. “Love?—”
I came to a stop and drew his hand down to my chest, where my heart beat in a steady rhythm.
“It might be stupid, but I believe you’re a good man. I don’t believe you’re this cold-hearted pirate everyone’s made you out to be. That’s not the Bastian I know. So if there’s a reason why you had to do what you did, then tell me. Let me in, Bastian. You don’t have to shoulder this burden all on your own. Let me help. Let me be your partner in this.”
His chest heaved, and I could see the faint blue lines starting to spread down from his neck. His illness. We needed to get that pixie dust so it no longer plagued him.
“We can figure this out together,” I continued. “Whatever it is. You just have to trust me.”
He stared at where his hand was pressed, his fingers twitching against my bare skin. “It’s not that simple,” he said, voice quiet. “I—I’ve wanted to tell you so many times, but... I failed to protect my sisters. I failed to keep them away.”
I covered his hand with mine. “What do you mean? They followed you. They tracked you. That wasn’t your fault.”
“Because I was weak,” Bastian said. “Because I couldn’t stay away. I let rumors grow about me, gossip spread, hoping they would come after me. Now they’re stuck on my ship, living a life they don’t want, constantly in danger.”
“Bastian, they love you. Even if you hadn’t made it easy for them to find you, they would’ve come after you. You can’t blame yourself for that.”
He rubbed his jaw. “I can’t make that mistake again. Not with you. I won’t.”
I was losing him. I tightened my grip on his hand, pressing it deeper against my chest, willing him to feel my heart. “Trusting me isn’t a mistake.”
