Page 70 of My Sweet Dollie, You Have to Love Me
“I deleted my accounts.”
“Okay, then you can just explain to me how jacking off to some woman because she’s just so hot is not what I think? Or how you’d like another to stay here with you, in my house!”
“It’s just banter, Lancie. We aren’t even keeping this house.”
“It is not banter.” I stand, confident in his betrayal. “It is disrespect, and my name is not fucking Lancie!”
“They meant nothing to me.”
“Do not lie to me!”
“They’re just friends,” he shouts, spit flying everywhere. “Don’t blow this out of proportion. I didn’t actually do anything wrong. I never slept with any of them. You’re being dramatic and ridiculous right now.”
“You still cheated! It’s still cheating! Why did you even have to talk to them? Was it because they are so much hotter than what you have at home? So much better than your ten-year relationship.”
“None of them are better than you. None of them are nice or attractive at all.”
“Oh, so you threw away our relationship for a group of ugly women? That’s so wise. To lose everything for people you aren’t even attracted to!”
“It was just a bit of fun. Amusement.”
“Oh, really?” My voice gets louder, creating a battle of pitches. “And when exactly do I get to have fun? Or am I meant to waste my life doing all the boring shit like painting while you make an absolute idiot out of me! Or is that meant to be my fun? Painting, dinner duties, and doing your laundry? Tell me, did I have to wash the underwear that was stained by your cum after you jacked off to that pathetic attention-seeking loser, who, by the way, is using you for all the free shit she’s getting!”
I don’t even feel bad for slating another woman. This woman knew of me. She is all the things I said.
“It didn’t really happen!”
“The free stuff?”
“The jacking off.”
“But you still bought her things, and yet we’re struggling with money.” I toss a kitchen towel at him, and it hits him in the chest before falling to the floor. “What did you get her? Aside from fixing her shitty car.”
“Just weed.”
“Oh, my god.” My vision goes black as my hands cover my face. “You buy some girl drugs when I have to ask for every little thing because money is an issue?”
“Not like hardcore stuff, just a little weed.”
Done with this conversation, I tell him, “Anything was too much.” I pace, something I only do when I’m severely stressed. “I’m not even allowed to get a fucking ice cream!” I stop, only for a second, and then the pacing starts again. “You know what,I don’t even care. The trust is broken, and so is the relationship. I hope she and all the others were worth it.”
“They aren’t. They’re worthless.”
“And so is this relationship now. So, go to your parents’ place or to any one of those idiot girls who’ll be willing to put you up when you whisper compliments in their ear, because I don’t want you staying here. I can’t even look at you right now.” I turn away from him because it’s the truth.
“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re never gonna stay in this place by yourself. You’re afraid of every shadow.” He moves around the table, his hand landing on my shoulder. It makes my skin crawl. “How are you gonna decorate upstairs?”
I shrug him off. “I’m gonna have to, aren’t I? I don’t want you here. So, I have to stay here alone, and you need to leave.”
“This is what you want? What you really want?”
“What I want—” I straighten my spine, “is for none of this to have ever happened.”
“Nothing physical did happen. Come on, we argue all the time.”
“No, you always cause arguments, and when I defend myself, you put your fist through the wall. I can’t do this anymore. Not now.”
“But I didn’t sleep with any of them.”
