Page 346 of My Sweet Dollie, You Have to Love Me
I look down at all the pink-haired unicorns that Ambrose thought were cute. “It was my idea to leave!”
“Why would you even go with him in the first place? Everyone is right about you. You’re fucking brainwashed. Why would you even want anything to do with him after what I told you last night?”
“My god, Shane! Do you hear yourself!”
“Do you?”
“I’m not the one judging someone because they may or may not have an illness.”
“An illness that can lead to a death sentence for anyone who contracts it! You better not get any of his blood in here, Lancie.”
“You are being?—”
“Cautious.”
“An asshole! You’re speaking through fear and lack of education. And I can’t stand it.” I can’t bite my tongue on this, so I risk another bruise. “You’ve done awful things to me, but do you know what I truly hate most? How you talk about him!”
We continue the rush to get home, tires racing over concrete.
“Because you won’t have anything negative ever said about him, will you?”
Shane swerves, narrowly missing the silver car that’s now behind us. The make and model fade into a blur, along with its loud honking as we speed away.
“Pull over.”
“No. You got in this car fucking willingly! You wanted to talk, so talk. I dare you to defend him again!”
“There’s really nothing to talk about.” Fear isn’t stealing my voice. I just have no more to say to this man.
“Because you’re sorry for the shit you’re putting me through?” he asks, his eyes on me and not the road for too long.
Because I’m sorry I ever met you.
“Yeah, I’m sorry you ever had to deal with me.”
“Good!” he snaps, eyes still on me when they should be on the road. “Just cut him out of your life. You got what you wanted. Revenge for me cheating. We’re fucking even now. You don’t need to keep hanging around him!”
“We aren’t even. I wouldn’t want to be. I’d never stoop that low.”
We round a corner that takes us onto the highway, and Shane’s foot slams to the floor.
“Yeah, it’s all on me, but you considered working on things. Why? You’ve held a grudge since that day! Threw away what we had because I liked some girls’ pictures. That’s fucking weird and?—”
“Disrespectful.” My eyes meet his face, waiting for him to butt in with another lie. “That’s what it is. It’s disrespectful.”
The car swerves, cutting into two lanes. A flurry of honks and yelling comes from the road as we slam to a stop on the side of the road, leaving a trail of tire tracks marking the road behind us. My seatbelt works overtime to stop me from headbutting the windshield, no doubt leaving another bruise on my collarbone where it digs into me.
“I’m disrespectful!” Those bitten down nails aim for my face and dig into my cheeks again, aggravating injuries he’s already caused.
The bruises I already have threaten to turn a deeper shade of purple, and the scabs beneath his fingers threaten to scar my face.
“You make me sick. I’ve put up with you for years. And why? You have nothing going for you. Your scarred hands touch me, and I cringe. Where the fuck is your gloves? Hmm? Then we have that pouch on your stomach. You think anyone will ever find you attractive, Lancie?”
A vision flutters into my head, pushing aside self-consciousness. Ambrose, in the music room, pointing to wordsthat tell me I’m beautiful. Ambrose, in the bathroom, when shame clung to my naked body. No disgust in his glare… just acceptance.
It doesn’t matter what Shane thinks. A better man thinks I’m perfect. I remember his exact words—a rare kind of perfect.
“I can never even have a laugh with you. I do one thing wrong, and it’s the end of the world.”
