Page 304 of My Sweet Dollie, You Have to Love Me
“Doll, she isn’t here anymore.”
“Nothing good can come out of knowing a person’s most personal thoughts.” That I know is true, and my body recoils over the battered yellow book with roses on the cover. “When did you even get it? I thought you were tossing everything out?”
“I saved this. Trust me, you’ll want to know. Especially if all those rumors of rape are true.”
“What are you talking about?” I still, goosebumps rising on my arms.
“Bout your brother forcing you.”
“You know he didn’t, Shane. Do you really think I’d be in this house with him if he did that?”
Shane shrugs. “Something made your dad send him away.”
“It wasn’t that.”
“I won’t judge… you. I just need to know if your brother fucked you. Ever.”
Sinking deeper into the bed, my hands fidget with the blanket. The satin is cold to the touch and does little to soothe my nerves.
“Just answer the question. I need to know for your sake and mine.”
“I have answered. And why are you digging up the past with a false narrative that bored locals made up?”
“Because I’m starting to think he did. I’m beginning to think that’s where your little trauma bond came from.
“No, we were kids. He never touched me.”
“What about these last few days?”
“Shane, we were both ill.”
“That’s convenient, isn’t it?”
“It’s likely that you’ll pick something up from someone when you live together. Especially if you have a chronic illness.”
“Maybe, and you both do.”
“That’s just me. Ambrose doesn’t have a chronic illness.”
“Really? He didn’t tell you that?”
“He doesn’t have one. I’d have remembered.”
“Because you grew up together or because he’d have mentioned it when you got intimate?”
“Shane, you’re being ridiculous right now. I’ve told you, I haven’t slept with him, and even if I had, which I haven’t?—”
“Because it’s sick, right? It would be really sick to fuck your brother. So wrong and fucking disgusting.” Shane eyes me with a squinted glare that creeps over the book, already disbelieving anything I’ll reply with.
“I have never slept with him. But no one talks about their health struggles during that time. I never have.”
“That’s different.”
“How?”
“Well, for one, you ramble on about them enough daily.”
That’s not true, and I reel back in shock. I’ve said nothing to Shane about my struggles in years. I even let my body do the talking over my pained joints tonight. Shane, in his typical fashion, ignored each stiff movement.
