Page 241 of My Sweet Dollie, You Have to Love Me
My hands don’t leave my sides, but I nod, knowing that’ll get my parents out of this room quicker.
“Do you still want space?”
I’ve wanted space from them all week.
It’s hard to be around them when I know they did something awful to us. Harder because of Mom and her constant, tear-stained face. Despite everything, I hurt when she cries. And Ican’t take hearing her reasons for the tears, all the whispers of infection that she drops in Dad’s ears.
He walks toward us, taking big steps across my carpet.
“Come on, love,” Dad calls her away from me, his thick fingers around her shoulders. “Maybe tomorrow.”
Edging back and away from them, I pull back the sheets on my new bed, puff a pillow, and tuck myself in.
Both my parents stop in the doorway.
“Goodnight, champ.” Dad smiles.
The tears in his eyes are back again, matching the ones on Mom’s face that I have to look away from.
“I love you, Ambrose.” She sniffles.
Keeping my eyes away from her makes it easier not to let my emotions win. Not to let them confuse me, because I love her too. We’d become so close before my kidnapping, but I just can’t look at my parents the same way anymore.
They close the door, leaving me in silence, and I lie in my new bed, hoping that it’ll still be quiet when I fall asleep. That the voice in my head will still be dormant.
The little clock at my side tells me I’ve been here for an hour when it clicks past eleven.
I’m never going to be able to sleep in here alone.
I need Dollie.
I use my pillow to make it look like my body is still under the covers, in case someone comes looking, and step out of my bed from the same side I got in.
I shift to the bedroom door on quiet feet, and I turn the handle. Praying no one hears the squeal when I pull it open and close it behind me.
It’s five steps to Dollie’s room, her door making the exact same noise when I step inside.
Her frilly pink bedsheets are folded neatly, and her bed is empty. I expected it. We haven’t been sleeping there.
Spinning around, my gaze moves over so many toys until I stop on the ladder that leads to the glass dome. A small human’s head peeks up amongst all the pillows and stuffed toys.
My favorite human.
Trails of sadness glow under the moonlight. Her blonde hair looks a little brighter each time the stars from her nightlight travel around the room.
The loneliness inside me fades a little with each step, disappearing completely when I put my hands and feet on the ladder.
“Are you staying with me?” she asks, tiny hands giving me help I don’t need to get into the dome. That same hope on her face that Mom had when she held out her hands.
Unlike her, I don’t let Dollie down.
I nod my head.
“Really?” she squeals, excitedly. Pulling back the comforter for me to get under.
I push some toys out of the way, anything that isn’t Duggan. I let him stay between us and slink back, stretching out my leg. That ladder always causes an ache that takes a minute to pass.
“Why didn’t you wanna stay in your room? Mommy said you would.”
