Page 212 of My Sweet Dollie, You Have to Love Me
Turning away from him, the gentle breeze catches her hair, blowing in the wind as she plays with our girl.
“It wasn’t a dig.”
“Good. Because I’m in therapy to be better for you, I don’t want to go.”
“And I didn’t want to go out last night, but you begged, sent me to the wrong place, and something awful happen?—”
“God, it’s always about you. Don’t you think awful things were happening to me, too?” His shoulders slump, and the bad posture does him no favors.
“I don’t know what happened to you. I wasn’t there.”
“I spent half of the night with my head down the toilet, vomiting because I drank too much.” His fingers close around her tense shoulders, and his lips place another kiss on her cheeks that makes me recoil. “I am sorry you never got to come to the party, but we both had a kinda shit night, by the sounds of things.”
“It isn’t about the party, Shane. Two women took an instant disliking to me at the other bar.” She doesn’t give him the details she gave me, probably too nervous over how he’ll react.
“And I’m sorry about that. What happened when you came home?”
Turning back to him, she gives me her back. “Are you really more concerned that something happened here over what happened at the bar?”
“You can’t blame me. Are my feelings not valid?”
“All feelings are valid, sure, but nothing happened here, Shane. Stop allowing your guilt to blame me.”
“The therapist says I project. That I pass the blame because it’s hard to face up to my own actions.”
“Yeah… well, maybe that’s true.”
“She can feel that I love you, though, and she thinks that you standing by me is helpful.”
His hands move around her, pulling her in, and my empty stomach rolls when, after a small hesitation, hers shift to him, and she smiles an unauthentic smile.
“I really need you. We don’t know any different. We’ve always had each other. I can be better. I have been better lately because I really want us to work. I know it’s not easy, but we both have to put in the work. Mostly me. And I will. Would I be here on my knees, begging for another chance otherwise?”
“You’re not on your knees, Shane.”
“I can be.”
Thoughts of him in the gutter lift my lip. He’s just another germ on the ground.
A quick glance at the clock tells me he’s almost late for work and should be leaving soon.
He better be out before I am, or I’ll never get to The Funhouse to handle today’s stock order and the attitude from Valaria that will come before it.
He’s still in the yard but has changed positions.
My mouth hangs open, but no air comes out as I lean forward for a better look.
One knee of his pants leg is dirty because he’s down on it. On one fucking knee.
“If I prove myself, we’ll keep our reservation? We will be all you ever wanted—a normal family. We already got the dog and wedding planned. Who knows what could be next?”
Dollie’s expression matches mine. She can’t want that empty life. If she did, there’d be a smile.
There’s no smile, so there’s no reason to say yes.
“What do you say?”
Say no.
