Page 152 of My Sweet Dollie, You Have to Love Me
I have to stay alive, even if that means suffering every single day.
And I hate that I have to suffer because of this creature.
But it can’t be her.
It can never be her.
Colin pulls me from the bathtub by my barely bleeding wrist and wet hair. He tosses me to the floor, and I reach for my pants, for the pocket where the shard is waiting to inflict an injury on him. I pray that I cut him deep enough.
“No, no, you little brat!” He drags me back by the legs.
The uneven tiles scrape against my stomach. I don’t flinch from that, just from his touch. My skin crawls beneath his dirty hands as they move higher up my legs.
I struggle to breathe through the very real feeling of his hands on me. My kicks and thrashes are wild but useless things, guided by terror and nothing else, as he pulls me closer to him, the pants now far from my reach.
“You’re not wearing those.” He flips me over and stands above me, his gaze alone enough to immobilize me while he disappears back into his room.
I don’t leave the floor, staying there with my painful thoughts and the heavy breaths I’m taking.
“Put these on.” He tosses a shirt and shorts at me that smell like him.
And all I can do is flap until it falls away from me.
Dragging myself back over the uneven tiles, I make it to the corner of the bathroom.
“Don’t make me hurt you.”
His feet stomp over the tiles, closing in on me.
“Put the clothes on, Ambrose. Or leave them off for your entire stay here.”
“Please, just let me wear my own clothes.” I sob, stuttering over the fear, the hold that he’ll forever have on my soul.
Calloused fingers grip my hair, and he guides my head and arms into the correct holes of his polka-dot shirt. “You haven’t worn your T-shirt in ages.”
“It’s dirty,” I try to reason. “And wet.”
I don’t even fight as he pulls a pair of shorts up my legs.
“So, aren’t you very lucky I’m so generous?” He smiles, today’s lunch still wedged between the gaps in his teeth.
He didn’t have green vegetables.
“It’s a good thing you’re tall.”
Staying silent, I let him finish dressing me. To prevent the shorts from falling, he sets a pair of braces over my shoulders.
“Why are you so sad?” he asks, gripping my face harshly. “Is it because you couldn’t reach this?”
My eyes roll as my shard of glass dances across his knuckles before stalling between his finger and thumb.
“Let’s make you look a little happier.”
The basement door creaks open again, letting some light into the comfortably dark room.
I’ve been down here alone for a little while, sucking in the scent of Colin from my new clothes and tasting my blood in my mouth with each breath.
For a while, my cheeks hurt, but they’re numb now.
