Page 38 of Ruthless Alpha
“You don’t know that.”
I had no response to give her. Sure, I wasn’t inside the heads of every male on the island, but I knew that plenty of them liked the status quo. They liked that they could rely on their strength to get them whatever they wanted, and they wouldn’t like being told they had to play by new rules if I tried to enforce any. What I didn’t know was how many males were just like me, who didn’t like the way things were, but who played along because it was the only life they’d ever known.
Maybe there were changes to be made, but this wasn’t a conversation about Pack politics. I was trying to fix whatever had gone wrong between us.
“That’s not—this isn’t what we’re talking about right now,” I insisted. “Is this really why you’ve been running away from me since we mated?”
Her anger faded instantly, like the wind had gone out of her sails. Suddenly, she could no longer meet my eyes, her fingers picking nervously at the skin around her nails.
“I just—I went outside today because I was trying to find something beautiful on this island that wasn’t you,” she confessed, and my heart sank.
“Did you?” I choked, already knowing the answer. She’d gone out looking for something beautiful, and she’d foundHarris.
“It doesn’t matter,” said Rosie. “It doesn’t matter if your woods are lovely or your mountains are grand. I can’t be happy here, Xander. Even if I could go out to the forest whenever I wanted, I’d always come back here and be reminded that notevery female on this island is as lucky as I, that everyone else lives in fear. I’ve lived in fear my whole life, and I can’t—I can’t—” Her voice wavered and broke, and then the tears came. Sobs wracked her body, and she took great heaving breaths, covering her face with her hands in an attempt to staunch the flow.
My self-control snapped, and I rushed forward to gather her back into my arms. She didn’t push me away, but nor did she reach for me in return, merely allowing me to embrace her as she fractured into pieces.
It felt like I held her for hours before the tears finally subsided. Rosie sniffled and hiccupped in my arms, and I was powerless to do anything but press a long kiss to her hair.
“Tell me what to do, angel,” I whispered. “Please.”
“Let me go.”
I released her from my grip, but she didn’t move. Still seated in my lap, she looked up at me, her pretty eyes red from crying and her little mouth downturned.
“I don’t want to be here, Xander,” she said, and her true meaning dawned.
“You don’t mean that.”
“I do.”
This wasn’t happening. She wasn’t asking me this. Sure, she’d asked it a hundred times before, but things had changed. We were mates. We belonged together. She couldn’t be asking to leave me now.
“Sleep on it,” I said. “You’ve had a hard day.”
“I won’t change my mind.”
I didn’t doubt that. Rosie might have had a rough day, but it was just the cherry on top of all the ways she’d alwayshated Ensign. I’d been so fucking naive to think that helping her with her magic and showing her a little love would be enough to counter all the ways that my island was hostile toward someone like her. She hadn’t grown up here; it wasn’t normal for her: it was horrifying.
“I won’t let you go back to Arbor,” I told her, but she only nodded in agreement.
“You have friends on other islands, don’t you?” she asked. “Ones who would look after your mate?”
I had plenty. Leo would take her in a heartbeat, and Julia would bully Ethan into letting her stay on Ferris. Hell, even Cal would probably take her now that she wasn’t touting her Arbor bullshit anymore. There were so many places I could send her, so many places where she’d be safe enough, probably safer than she’d ever been here. I’d only been deluding myself that she was safer with me, selfishly justifying keeping her close.
“Don’t do this to me, Rosie,” I breathed. It was a low, last-ditch attempt to get her to stay, and I hated myself with every word. She was everything I’d ever wanted, and I didn’t know if I would survive watching her walk away.
Rosie’s hand was soft on my face, her thumb stroking the rough texture of my stubble. She looked as wrecked as I felt, but her voice didn’t waver when she said,
“If you care about me, Xander, you’ll let me go.”
It was a punch to the gut, a knife to the heart, because it was the truth. Rosie might make me happier than I’d ever been, but I couldn’t give her the same in return. I couldn’t give her the safety and the security she deserved, even as my mate.
I nodded, hardly trusting myself to speak.
“I’ll make some calls.”
Chapter 18 - Rosie
