Page 26 of Ruthless Alpha
“Rosie says she can feel something when she wields it, yes,” Xander confirmed, putting an end to my comfortable lurking. Eve’s gaze was sharp and interested, but her smile was warm as she offered me the weapon.
“Alright, show me what you’ve got,” she said.
Just like that? What was she expecting me to do? I took the sword tentatively from her, holding it out like Xander had taught me. My gaze flicked over to him for a moment, and he smiled encouragingly at me.
“There’s nothing to show, really,” I admitted. “I just, when I hold it, I feel like there are things it wants me to do.” Already, I could feel a tug toward Xander, a desire to be closer to him. I could feel the weapon thrumming with readiness too—eager for a fight.
“Are they things thatitwants you to do, or thingsyouwant to do?” Eve asked, and I frowned.
“I don’t understand.”
“Honey, I’ve been around the block a few times, and I’ve never heard of any object having its own desires,” she explained. “Magic has limits, you know, and one of those limits is giving objects sentience. What magiccando is use an object to channel existing power.”
“But I can’t—I mean, I’m not a good fighter, but this makes me better,” I tried to argue. “That’s not just channeling my magic.” Eve looked unconvinced.
“Isn’t it? Tell me, are you good enough with it that you can beat your Alpha over here?” She nodded at Xander, and I scoffed.
“No, not even close.”
“Well then, all that sword is doing is bringing out the best in you. It’s making you lighter on your feet, maybe, or faster, or a little stronger. It’s not telling you to do anything.”
“But—”
“Has it ever made you do anything that you didn’t really want to do?”
I thought of the heat of Xander’s body against mine, the feel of his hands pinning me, of his lips against mine, and the hot slide of his tongue. I shivered.
“No.”
“There you are, then,” said Eve. “You’re in control here, not the sword.”
“I don’tfeellike I’m in control,” I muttered.
“That’s because you haven’t tapped into your magic properly. Xander said you’ve had some… difficulty with that.” Eve didn’t strike me as a particularly tactful person, but she was clearly trying. I appreciated it—that very human flaw, and theattempt to mask it. Perhaps witches really weren’t so different from everyone else.
“I haven’t used magic since I was little,” I told her, “and then it was only once. Since then, I’ve been trying to—trying to keep it down.”
Eve looked as though she was trying very hard not to say something, and she clearly didn’t succeed, because she was visibility irritated when she blurted,
“That’s no good for anyone.” I tensed—I knew that repressing my magic wasn’t good for me, but I had no other choice—and Eve’s face softened almost instantly. “It’s not your fault, honey; that island of yours thinks up is down and right is wrong, but—”
“They’re not like that,” I snapped back, the instinct to defend my island rearing up before I even knew what I was saying. “It’s perfectly reasonable to fear witches. You’re—we’re—”
“Are humans right to fear shifters because they think your wolves define you, that you might turn at any moment and savage them because you can’t control the animal inside?” Eve countered. Her tone was gentle but firm, and I couldn’t help feeling chastised.
“No,” I muttered.
“Your power is just like your wolf,” she continued, smiling now. “It’s not in control: you are. Sure, there are some witches out there who use their power to hurt, but it’s just the same as those shifters who let themselves become more wolf than man. If you’ve got a good heart, magic isn’t going to change that.”
I had no argument for that, yet I couldn’t entirely quiet the terrified voice in the back of my mind, screaming at me thatshe was only trying to manipulate me, that she wanted me to give in to the evil inside me so she could use it for her own purposes. I tried to ignore it as best I could. It was just like all the other instincts I’d had to learn on Arbor: it might have served me then, but that didn’t mean it was always right.
Eve let me stew for a few moments before she stepped back, clapping her hands together.
“Now, let’s see if we can tap into this connection,” she said. “This is just like the shift—at least, that’s what I’ve heard. The same way you’d call on your wolf to take your skin, you can call up your magic and let it out, let it just flow right into that sword for me.”
She gestured at me, then at the weapon expectantly. What did she want me to do? Call on my magic, she’d said, the same way I would call on my wolf. I could do that.
Closing my eyes, I tried to tune in to my body. My wolf’s ears perked up, expectant, but I moved past her, not just a little guilty, I’d barely let her out since I arrived on Ensign—and looked deeper. I knew there was something there; it had always been there, like a stone weighing me down, but there was no life to it, nothing to answer my call. I took a breath and tried again, and again, and again.
