Page 22 of Ruthless Alpha
I did as ordered, sinking into the now-familiar ready stance.
“This time, try to see obvious moves coming.”
“Yes, sir.” I tried not to notice the way his throat bobbed as the words left my mouth.
He never announced his first attack—“Because your enemy isn’t going to give you prior warning.” He just sprang forward, this time going low. The first time we’d sparred, I’d been terrified of using the weapon, convinced that its sharp blade would catch his skin as I flailed around uselessly, but he was too observant and too fast for that. On the few occasions that I’d made a successful attack, he’d looked nothing but pleased by the thin cut on his bicep or his thigh or his side, and if I offered to patch him up, he’d assure me it would be healed before I could try. I tried not to wonder what it said about me that I liked to watch the fine rivulets of blood follow the lines of his muscles, as if I were leaving my mark on him.
I already knew that there would be no marking him that day. He was in the zone, dodging even my best attempts at attacks. If this were a real fight, I’d be dead ten times over. If I were one of the Ensign males, I did not doubt that I would have been in the medical building by now. Instead, Xander toyed with me, holding his attacks and simply waiting for me to lash out when I thought I saw an opening. My eyes were fixed on him ashe danced from foot to foot, feinting one way and then another, taunting me.
“You think someone trying to kill me is going to fuck around this much?” I panted, frustrated, but Xander only laughed.
“No. But you need to learn not to let your frustration get the better of you. Every attack is sloppier than the next.”
He was right, and I knew he was right, but that didn’t stop me from lunging forward in a final fruitless attempt to catch him off guard. This time, he didn’t merely dodge the attack with a smug smile; this time, his hand was around my wrist, and then my back was against the wall. I growled in frustration, lashing out with my free hand to—I didn’t even know what—but he took that as well, shifting his grip to pin both my wrists above my head with one large hand.
My skin burned beneath his touch, the breath leaving my body in a great rush. I tried to fight against his restraint, but I was weak with exhaustion, and his proximity had my legs trembling beneath me. I didn’t know if I was bucking in an attempt to free myself or to get closer to him, my mind cloudy with frustration and want.
Xander’s smile was smug and infuriating as he reached up with his free hand to pluck the sword from my grasp, dropping it to the ground beside him. It should have brought me back to myself, should have stopped the tide of arousal rising up inside me, but I barely even noticed it. I whined as I tried again to break his grip, and I felt it tighten.
“You know that’s not going to make anyone want to let you go, right?” he rumbled. His gaze was fixed on my mouth, and I drew my bottom lip between my teeth, just to see what he would do.
He leaned forward, his forehead hitting the wall beside my elbow.
“You’re killing me, here,” he muttered. I wasn’t stupid. I knew he wanted me as much as I wanted him right now. I also knew that doing anything about it was a really, really bad idea, but my body wasn’t listening to my brain, so I whined again, squirming and bucking until his free hand shot out to pin my hips against the wall. I should have been terrified: there was no way I could break out of this hold unless I shifted, but my wolf couldn’t hold her own against his any more than I could against him.
I wasn’t terrified, though. My heart was trying to beat out of my chest, but my instinct wasn’t telling me to run, to hide, to drop and cower, or show my neck; it was telling me I wantedmore.I pushed my hips against his hold—I didn’t budge, but I knew he could feel me moving under his palm.
“Stop it, Rosie, I mean it,” he rasped. I could have laughed. I wasn’t the one holding us here. If he wanted to be away from me, he could make it happen whenever he wanted.
“Let go, then,” I gasped, and that was what did it.
His mouth crashed down on mine, hot and eager and demanding. I’d never been kissed before, though I’d imagined my first a thousand times. It would be gentle, I’d decided, sweet and chaste, with my mate who loved me. This was nothing like I imagined, and I didn’t care even slightly. I opened my mouth to his tongue almost immediately, sighing as he licked the roof of my mouth before drawing my top lip between his teeth, nibbling and sucking as he crowded me tighter against the wall.
It was overwhelming. His scent was everywhere; his hands were brands on my body, and his kisses were like a drug, fogging my mind further with each press of his lips. When helifted his hand from my hips to wrap an arm around my waist, I moaned against him, my legs parting instinctively as he pushed a knee between my thighs. I rolled my hips once, unable to hold back a full-body shiver at the delicious, heady pressure in my core. I pulled my lips away from his, drunk and greedy, wanting to take his skin between my teeth.
The moment the kiss ended, though, he dropped my wrists, pushing himself away from the wall, away from me. He looked frantic and beautiful, his mouth shiny and wet from my kisses.
“I’m sorry, I—” he stammered. “I’m so sorry, Rosie. I’ll go, I—”
He didn’t leave me any room to protest before he disappeared up the stairs, leaving me alone in the training room.
I sank down the wall, my legs finally giving out beneath me, as I realized what I’d done. That anxious, practical part of me who knew nothing but violence and servitude told me this was good, that I had more leverage now that he’d acted on his desire for me, but I didn’t want to hear it. I hadn’t kissed him back because I was trying to manipulate him, because I was trying to gain something; I’d kissed him back because Iwantedto, and that was a problem.
Chapter 11 - Xander
I was going to hell. I was going straight to hell: do not pass Go, do not collect two hundred dollars. I had pinned Rosie to the wall of the basement, put my hands on her body, and held her in place while I stuck my tongue down her throat like an animal. I’d always prided myself on being better than the males of my Pack, but I was just as much of a slave to my instincts. My wolf had insisted on having her, and I’d let him call the shots.
I paced in front of the porch as the sun came up over the ragged mountains. I had fled the house entirely after escaping the basement, stopping only to tell Jace that I wouldn’t be back until morning and to look after Rosie in my absence. I knew he would follow my orders—he was a good friend, steadfast and reliable—but I still felt awful about leaving Rosie alone.
Better alone than with me, I reminded myself.
I was relieved when a light clicked on in the kitchen—she was there, close to me, safe and going about her morning routine as normal. It took another half hour for me to convince myself to open the door, to follow the smell of pancakes and bacon into the kitchen. Jace was sitting at the table pouring syrup over his full plate, and I had to tamp down a nonsensical growl. I had no right to feel possessive of Rosie, who was standing stock still by the oven, staring at me.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey. You didn’t come home last night.” Something in my stomach fizzed pleasantly at the casual way she called my househome.But now was not the time for that.
“No,” I admitted. “I thought you might want some—you know, some privacy.”
