Page 87 of Waiting For A Girl Like You
Turning around, he gave her a half-hearted smile and tried to make a joke. “I’m sorry I was rough,” he said, his tone quieter now. “Want me to carry you?”
She stepped in close, chin lifted. “I love you. I will love you for the rest of my life.”
The truth was there again, and while he should have been swooping her up in his arms to kiss, he just couldn’t. He didn’t have it in him. “But,” he replied gruffly, tired of the fight. “There’s always abut.”
“But I’m never going to marry you, Rowan. You should know this. I would never be so selfish.”
“How the fuck is marrying me selfish?”
“Tying you to me legally?” Her expression grew dark, and she swung away from him to sit in one of the recliners. “That’s selfish. Loving you and being with you is one thing. But I’d always want you to have an out.”
“Watch what you say next.” He moved before he could stop himself, caging her in with his hands on the arms of the chair. “If you’re about to tell me that you won’t marry me because you think I’llneeda way out—then this is over.”
The stubborn glare in her gaze slipped, and while it was cruel of him, he relished the fear replacing it. “You don’t mean that.”
“The hell I don’t,” he snarled, keeping his voice low. “I am sick of the buts. Sick of thinking we’re getting somewhere, only to end up in another goddamn loop.”
“You’ve never wanted marriage. Or did you forget that I was your best friend before we became this? That I was the one you spent countless hours talking to about life and how marriage and kids were never something you would want.”
“We didn’t become this. We’ve always beenthis.” He held her by the chin. “I’ve never wanted another woman the way I want you. I have never—in my whole fucking life—been in love. Never once. Not until Annabeth Howard strutted out the back door of Haven House andstraight into my worthless fucking heart. So watch what the hell you say about giving me a way out. There is no fucking way out, not for me.”
She jerked free of his hold, but he wasn’t done. Not by a long shot.
“And to listen to you continue to insult me by thinking I would ever want to be anywhere except at your side as yourhusbandis taking it too far.” He pushed off the recliner to loom over her. “What’s worse is I haven’t even asked you. I haven’t even started the conversation, yet you’ve already decided.”
Christ. He was shouting and suspected that this entire conversation was playing out in the media room. The elevated noise would have the main camera monitor focusing on them, and if anyone were paying attention, they were now getting a show.
But he no longer cared.
“I love you, Annabeth. I wanted a life with you. A long, happy fucking life as your husband. One. Day. Not tomorrow, but one day. Kids. No kids. Whatever. As long as you and me were doing the whole ‘til death do us part thing, I would have been happy.”
Having said what he wanted, Rowan headed for the front door, but Annabeth shot out of the chair and was across the room to block his way. “Don’t you dare speak in past tense to me!” she shouted. “Wanteda life?Would have beenhappy? Just because I said no to a piece of paper doesn’t mean you get to stop loving me, you stubborn jackass!”
Jackass? Did she really just call him a stubborn jackass?
Catching her by surprise, he pressed her back against the wall. The entryway to the cottage was small, and when he placed a hand on either side of her head, he felt as if he were taking up every inch of space.
“I could never stop loving you,” he breathed, the exhaustion and pain mingling together to where his raw emotions could no longer remain bottled up. “Where you go, I go. If you stay, I stay. That will never change. You’re the other half of me, Annabeth.”
Snatching her hand, he rested it against the thundering heart in his chest. “I’m not going to lie and say that it doesn’t hurt that you won’t even consider a life with me as your husband. It does hurt.”
“Row—”
“No, fuck that. It feels like I’m bleeding out.” He pushed off the wall and wrenched open the cottage door to get some fresh air. “I haven’t evenasked, and you’re already saying no. I haven’t even begged—because I would do exactly that—to make you mine.”
He stood in the cottage doorway, his chest heaving while he stared out over the lawn and directly at Haven House. He would spend his life here. In this prison, he would dedicate every day to her and be perfectly happy doing so.
Yet it wasn’t enough.
“Can I speak now?”
Ah, but she was pissed. Good. Let her be pissed. Let her be angry and hurt and frustrated. Then, he wouldn’t be the only one in misery.
The corner of his mouth flicked upward. “Go for it.”
She shoved past to stand on the porch directly in front of him. “You will stop this right now. I love you. You love me.” Her finger jabbed at his chest like a weapon. “We’re going to have a good life. I’ll even let you get that damn dog you won’t shut up about.”
Staring down at her, it took every ounce of power he possessed to remain steady when her tears started. Not many things in his life were absolute. Frankly, thinking in absolutes gained you nothing. It made you lose perspective.
