Page 17 of Game Point
On & On & On – Maggie Rogers
‘If you worked on your second serve a little more,’ Avery began again, nattering on as she recapped my last match. I looked around the rideshare, the rushing backdrop of New York around me. She’d been trying to talk for days now. Missing or avoiding her calls was pretty easy, given she still lived in Melbourne.
But she’d caught me on my way to lunch, already running late, and I’d foolishly thought it would be enough to answer and tell her I’d call her later. But she’d fallen back into her usual way, dissecting every play I’d made as if I hadn’t already kicked myself enough already.
‘I know, I’ll make sure to work on it in practice,’ I answered, trying to satisfy her concern. I knew she was trying to help; nobody understood how hard it was to lose at tennis as much as Avery. We’d known each other since we were five, training together until I turned pro.
‘Focus on more spin; your kick serve is brutal.’Was brutal.But I didn’t voice my doubts as the car pulled up outside the restaurant.
‘Yeah, I understand,’ I said mindlessly as I tried to find my bearings in the unfamiliar city. That had to be the hardest thing about being on tour, waking up in a new placeevery few weeks and never the place you want to be the most: home.
‘Are you listening?’ she shouted into my ear, and I winced, realizing I wasn’t giving my friend the attention she deserved. She was only trying to help.
‘Yes, sorry,’ I apologized, pressing the palm of my free hand against my face. I took a moment, inhaling a deep breath, a pang of homesickness hitting me as I instantly missed the crisp taste and smell of the clean air back home. ‘I’m running late for lunch.’
‘I’m trying to help.’
‘I know, and I appreciate that.’ I considered trying to put this call off again, but she was already pissed at me for avoiding her.
I took a quick glance at my watch, realizinghowlate I was for my meeting. What difference would another five minutes make?
‘How are you doing?’ I asked, trying to focus on her for what time I could give her. ‘I’m sorry it’s been so long since we spoke.’
‘I know! I miss you,’ she immediately said, her confidence renewed. ‘I’ve been good. I got a promotion at my job last week.’
‘Oh, congrats, that’s huge!’ Pride welled for my friend and the path she had forged outside of tennis. It wasn’t easy when the path you saw for yourself disappeared overnight.
‘Yeah, it’s a big deal.’ I could hear her joy down the phone, her tone light and a little braggy but in the way you can be around good friends. ‘It’s more work, but it’s what I wanted.’
‘I’m happy for you! That’s great news.’
‘When are you back?’ she asked. I tried my best not to think too much about how far away home was, how many months and weeks until I’d be back where I belonged.
‘I’m still in the US right now, so it will be a while.’ I pressed my eyes closed, missing my own home, my own mattress. There were only so many hotels and rented apartments I could handle before home wasn’t a want but a physical need. ‘But I’ll be back in the new year for the Australian Open.’
‘We should have a proper catch up then. I miss you so much,’ she repeated, tugging at my heartstrings from the other side of the world.
‘I miss you too.’ I couldn’t remember a time in my life without Avery on the other end of the phone. She always used to be my first phone call. Talking to her, she understood the pressure. Her career had been cut short, but she at least had the experience that my family did not.
I said the words to myself, as much as I said them to her, pressing the promise into my homesick heart. ‘I promise, I’ll be home before you know it.’
‘You better be!’ she replied before moving on. ‘I saw your parents the other week.’
‘Really?’ Surprise hit me. Avery knew them well. For ten years, our parents had shared the carpool responsibilities between practices and tournaments but I didn’t know she still spoke to my parents. ‘How are they doing?’
‘Both seem good! They were excited about your run in New York!’ My stomach turned over with shame. I’d called them before the competition began, finding it easier to focus on the matches when I didn’t have to call homeall the time. I managed to keep the anxiety at bay without the constant reminder of how much they had given up for me to do this, how much of their time and money had been spent allowing me to compete in this sport and get to this level.
I searched for a home comfort in her words, at least knowing they were well and not overworking themselves like they had been known to do in my youth. ‘I’m overdue for a call,’ I said, trying to keep the stress from my voice.
‘They seem like they miss you. Your sisters were round too. When did your nieces get so big?’
I could see their faces, my two older sisters and their kids who were like tiny carbon copies of them. I was the baby of the family, and the elected fun aunt on the rare occasions I was in town. Catching up with my sisters was even more chaotic than the rest of my family, their kids and lives keeping them busy during the precious time I had to call them.
‘Only a few more months, and I’ll be back.’ My heart felt so heavy, like I was a sad disappointment of a sister, daughter and friend, all rolled into one.
‘Yeah, but only for a few weeks.’
I looked up at the bustling city around me, trying to distract myself from the hint of sadness that threatened to open up inside of me at her words. ‘I’ve got to run, but we can catch up soon. Maybe FaceTime.’
