Page 9 of Never Dance with the Devils
But the word isn’t said with any ill will. It actually sends a thrill through me again. Maybe I should tell Maddox to call me that instead of good girl and see what my body does then? I think he would absolutely be willing to participate in that experiment. My smile grows exponentially and I have to bite my lip to quiet a laugh at the idea.
When I go back out to the guys, expecting them to be rushing me out the door, I instead find they’ve ordered Chinese food to be delivered and have fluffed the pillows on the king-size bed for me to take my place between them.
I wake up slowly,feeling warm and snuggled between two brick walls. But with a breath, last night comes back to me in a rush and though my eyes fly open, I keep mybody still. Riggs and Maddox are sprawled out on either side of me, sleeping the deep, hard sleep of the totally satisfied.
After I returned to the bed last night, we’d eaten our delivered food and talked for hours, about everything and nothing. It’d been easy and comfortable, and for the first time ever, I’d felt like I didn’t have to live up to any expectations of who or what I am. To Riggs and Maddox, I was simply Kay.
Kay was me, but also… not. She’s simpler, easier, lighter, less bogged down in schedules and routine, and not nearly as Type A as I am. She doesn’t spend her days and nights focused on ticking to-do items off her lists, caring about others, and planning for the future. She’s a ‘live in the moment’ sort, and I’d enjoyed doing just that.
I’d been careful to not reveal too much of my family history, even though we’d talked about how being the only girl in a family full of brothers made life hard sometimes, and how I’m dedicated to my work. They’d understood, saying they have to work hard too, though they’d sidestepped any discussion of what they actually do, and I’d respected that, wanting the same.
Still, in the hours of chit chat, I felt like I got a good sense of who they are, individually and together. Riggs is serious and quiet, and when he deems something worthy enough to express, it’s assuredly from a deep, dark well of thought. Maddox is more light-hearted and fun, the sort to chase adventures and experiences, of which I was assured I was with a comically animated wink. And their friendship felt nuanced and real, even though their shit-talking reminded me of my brothers at times—love expressed through insults.
The ability to be myself was freeing too. Usually, I’mThe BITCH—Boss In Total Control of Herself, and honestly, everything else too. I fill in the gap of my parents with my brothers, manage countless contracts at work, and rarely have a moment to myself to just…be. I didn’t even know the desire was there, but a chance to be wild, carefree, and reckless had felt so good, and one anonymous night had felt like the right time to embrace those things, like the greatest opportunity for self-care I’ve ever had—physically, mentally, and emotionally.
It was like we were living in this perfect little bubble where life was fun.
But now, the bubble has popped and I need to leave.
Unable to get out on either side, I scoot down the bed, climbing out that way. I slip my clothes on, holding my heels in my hand, and look back at the two men who are snoring lightly. A part of me wants to climb right back into the bed, curl up with them, and see if they want to have breakfast together before going our separate ways.
But it’ll only delay the inevitable. I have a life to get back to, one where Ian McCormick is going to realize his mistake and call for another chance at the contract with Blue Lake, one where my sisters-in-law are waiting for me to come home for Girls’ Night In at Samantha’s, one where I have responsibilities to fulfill and expectations to exceed.
Still, I pause. Seeing a notepad on the desk, I scribble a quick note.
Thank you.—K.
I stare at it for a moment, knowing it feels too cold. It’s like something I’d leave for my assistant after she made hard-to-get dinner reservations for me. Deciding quickly, I reach into my bag and coat my lips in redlipstick before pressing them to the paper twice, leaving a print for each man. It’s not nearly enough, but it’ll have to do.
I lay it on the nightstand and silently slip out the door. Once in the hall, I put my heels on and stride to the elevator. Head held high and back straight, I walk through the lobby and out into the sunshine of the cool spring morning.
“May I help you get a car, ma’am?” the valet asks, his face professionally stoic and showing no sign of judgment over my walk of shame. Not that I’m feeling any. I don’tdothe walk of shame. Istrut.I feel sore in the best possible way and freer than I’ve ever felt.
“Yes.”
A moment later, I’m being whisked back to my hotel, where I’ll gather my things and go back to my life. Alone.
RIGGS
Two Months Later
“Son of a bitch!” I grunt, finishing my third set of bench presses and letting the bar crash back into the hooks on the power rack in our home gym.
Yes,ours. As in mine and Maddox’s. And yes, our teammates give us hell over how weird it is that we bought a house together, but like with everything else, we usually tell them to fuck off and mind their own business unless they want us all up in theirs. Totally said in love, since we do like the guys on the Devils. Well, Maddox does. I like them as well as I do anyone else, which is to say, I tolerate them and their shit-stirring because we do what works for us, in every way, no matter what anyone else thinks or says. And it’s not as though our house isn’t big enough for the two of us with over ten thousand square feet, including two suites on opposite ends, a home gym, a media theater, a practicerink made of synthetic ice-like panels in a detached barn, and a large kitchen we don’t use enough. Hell, the house I grew up in with five people (my parents, two sisters, and me) would nearly fit in my suite alone.
“What crawled up your ass and died?” Maddox pants, never slowing his pace on the treadmill. He’s going for stamina and endurance, so he’s been running for almost half an hour, and he’ll keep that same speed and intensity for another half hour at least.
The season might’ve ended weeks ago, but that doesn’t mean it’s time to slack off. No, during the off-season, we have a different, but no less serious, training regimen. First, we have to get our bodies back to ground zero after the months of deficit upon deficit, which includes lots of physical therapy, rehab of any injuries, and if we’re unlucky, surgery. Thankfully, we’ve been lucky fuckers so far, and our plan is to mostly rest our abused and overused bodies. Then, the rebuilding truly begins, prepping for the next run of games that always come sooner than you think they will when you’re staring at the empty stretch of months on the calendar.
“Nothing.” Done with his interrogation, I start loading the bar with more plates, adding them up in my head as I decide whether I’m going for a new personal record today. The physical punishment sounds like a good idea, like a way to feel something other than this damned ache in my chest. I sense Maddox’s eyes on me, but I ignore him. I’ve been doing that a lot lately because he’s right. I’ve been a grumpy asshole, even for me.
I know why—her. I know when and where my bad mood started down to the time on the clock and the GPS coordinates—nine o’clock, in that hotel bed.
That morning, I’d woken up smiling for the first timein years, reaching for the blonde angel from the night before, only to find that I was in bed with my best friend, who was still snoring, and there was no Kay snuggled between us. Disappointment had been instantaneous and has only grown since, leaving a black hole in my life where she’s supposed to be.
That sounds stupid. It was one night, nothing more. Especially since Maddox and I have had threesomes before—not a lot, but enough times to know how they usually go. Wild, hot sex and then we never see her again. That’s the deal. But what we did with Kay wasn’t usual in any way. There was no Twister game of what goes where, with a tangle of arms and legs and dicks, and no awkward self-consciousness. It was real and natural, and yeah, hot as fuck. And the all-night pillow talk was easy and comfortable, something I never am with strangers.
She was everything I’ve ever hoped for. That night was amazing. And I can’t help wondering where she is out there, how she’s doing, and if she’s okay back in her regular life or if she’s still having shitty days that I could make better.
