Page 10 of Saint Of Envy
LUC
Iknow it’s difficult for Valentina to be kept inside the hotel suite for several days in a row. I feel bad for her, having gone from one place of confinement to another, but this time, it’s for her own safety. So far, Leonardo hasn’t made his move, but I know it’s just a matter of time before he does. He’s not a man who will just let this go. He’ll come for her, or me, or all of us. Until then, I need to make sure that Valentina stays safe. But that doesn’t mean I can’t try to make things easier on her in the meantime. I don’t want her thinking that I’m just like Leonardo. So, I came up with an idea—a romantic dinner date in the hotel room to make up for both her inability to go out and for all the time that the two of us have missed together during the past several years.
“What is all this?” she asks with surprise when I arrive back at the hotel suite with my arms laden with bags.
“It’s a surprise. Go take a nice relaxing bath, and when you’re finished, the surprise will be ready.”
Valentina looks at me with suspicion, unsure of what I’m up to. But after assuring her it’s something good to look forward to, shegives me a small peck on the cheek and then turns to go draw herself a nice bath. Unlike Leonardo Conti’s cold estate, the luxurious and comfortable suite at the top of Vincent’s flagship hotel offers a welcome change of scenery. And right now, I intend to make it even nicer.
After hearing the bath water stop and giving it a few minutes to make sure she will not come out and ruin the surprise, I set everything up. In half an hour, fine dining will arrive, and I’ve already packed candles, flowers, and an expensive bottle of champagne for our romantic in-house date. I even picked up a fine linen tablecloth and asked the hotel staff to bring up a few artificial greenery topiaries to make it look like a candlelit picnic outside. The hotel staff delivered the topiaries, and I had already laid out the food when I heard Valentina drain the tub. I light the candles, pour the champagne, and wait for her to emerge.
Her face, as soon as she appears at the end of the hallway and sees what I’ve done, is the best reward I could’ve asked for. Valentina’s eyes light up with surprise, and her smile spreads all the way to her high cheekbones.
“This is incredible!” she gasps as she walks toward me, still smiling. “But why did you do all of this?”
“I wanted to make up for missed time,” I say as I hand her a champagne glass that is still fizzling with tiny, popping bubbles. “And I wanted you to feel like this isn’t such a terrible place to stay in for a little while longer.”
She takes the glass and smiles.
I offer her my hand, and we both take a seat to enjoy the aesthetic that I’ve created for our nice dinner. After a few bites of tasty food, and a few moments of enjoying the cozy, romanticatmosphere, conversation once again flows naturally between us. It’s rather incredible how, even after all the time we spent apart, it feels like we are right back in that first moment at that first gala, as if we haven’t missed a beat. She’s the only one in the world with whom I’m unguarded. The only person who I can reveal my deepest thoughts and feelings, even my fears and vulnerabilities. It’s as if the words just flow from my usually carefully constrained tongue without her even having to press me about anything. There’s a sense of freedom between us—free to be who we truly are with each other. And I can tell by how Valentina opens up to me as well that she feels the same way. She’s emotionally intuitive and deeply empathetic, and the more that we talk, the more I can see a subtle boldness and courage within her that is trying to emerge.
“I wasn’t sure how I would handle all of this at first,” she says, speaking freely as we finish our dinner. “I worried that your protective instincts that you’ve shown over me might make me feel stifled, like I did with Leonardo. But I’ve realized that instead of feeling controlled or diminished, I feel as if I have growing agency with you. I feel more like you, and I are a balanced partnership, as if we both see each other as equals.”
“Of course, I see you as an equal,” I agree immediately. “Valentina, I would never try to control you. Only a weak and pathetic man feels the need to assert his power over a woman, and I respect you too much to want your possibilities diminished by anyone, including myself.”
Her smile shines brighter than all the lit candles in response to my words.
“I was afraid to be vulnerable with anyone, to embrace the idea of love,” she continues. “But being with you has made me feel like I can be an active participant in my destiny, not becontrolled or contained. You see me, just like you did when we first met.”
“I’ve always seen you for what you are,” I say as we sit together beneath the flickering candlelight, as the sky outside grows darker. “I see you as a woman with limitless potential. Kind, smart, brave, and exceptionally lovely. I'm committed to protecting you, Valentina, as I always have been, even when I haven’t been right by your side. But I will never seek to dominate you. I understand all too well what it feels like to feel powerless.”
“You?” she asks, as if my remark surprises her. “But you’re in a position of power as a consigliere to one of the most powerful mafia families in Las Vegas. You’re highly skilled and respected.”
“That might all be true,” I say with a heavy sigh. “But there are things you don’t know about me, things that no one does.”
“Like what?” Her raw and innocent question prompts me to do something I hadn’t expected to—to confront my envy and need for control over my life. Just as I’ve tried to help push Valentina to claim her own power, I suddenly find myself in a position to confront my own flaws, and reveal something to her I’ve kept close to my chest this whole time. I shift in my seat, smoothing my palm down the front of my suit. I hesitate for a moment before revealing the secret that I’m not so sure I want to keep any longer.
“Would you think less of me if I told you I might not be as honorable as you think?” I say carefully.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that I have been struggling with something for a long time—with a deep envy toward my cousin’s dominance over the Moretti legacy. Vincent is Don, and I’m his consigliere, and yet Ihave to succumb to all of the family pressures with none of the power and glory that comes with the title that he has.”
“I don’t think that feeling envious makes you any less honorable,” she says graciously.
“Perhaps not, but my jealousy isn’t just a feeling. I’ve acted on it as well. Although now I’m not so sure I want to go through with it.”
“What did you do?” she asks.
“Shortly after Vincent took Isla to Italy, I started a rumor, a rumor that I placed into the ears of everyone who would spread it. The rumor talked of a new Don coming to Vegas, one that planned on taking over the city and ousting Vincent’s power over it.” I explain as I fess up the truth to her, hoping that she won’t think less of me for it. “Then, I pretended to deliver news of the rumor to Vincent, telling him that The Saint was coming to Las Vegas. I played it up until the fictional character of the rumors I created took on a life of its own, one that had everyone conflating whispers about this new Don. But the truth is?—”
I pause for a moment before I speak words I won’t be able to take back. “The truth, Valentina, is that I am the Saint, and that I was planning on taking over.”
Instead of looking at me with disgust or disappointment, her eyes soften, and she reaches her hand out to set against my lap.
“But you didn’t do it,” she says. “And from how you sound right now, it appears you no longer want to do it.”
She’s not wrong. In truth, I regret it. Having Valentina back in my arms has made the need for power, which once plagued and then consumed me, seem much less appealing. If I were to gothrough with it, I would have the title of Don, but less time to be with her. I have more agency without that burdensome position of authority.
