Page 47 of Philly
“No one knew until you joined the service, you mean,” she said instead of giving voice to the thoughts swimming through her mind. “You must have told people then?”
He shook his head. “I didn’t. I’ve never told anyone until now.” He paused. “I talked about the city, though. A lot. When I was growing up, when I was working, it was the one place I could go where I wasn’t Lenard Walker’s son. I wasn’t poor and terrified. I wasn’t judged or held to impossible standards.” She glanced over at that. “In town, I was either put on a pedestal because of my athletic abilities or reviled because of my dad. It always felt like it was one or the other. Other than being with you, and the stability your grandparents gave me, the city was the only place I could just be. I could be a boy interested inhistory. A boy who liked to wander around museums and walk the streets. I could…breathe while I was there.”
The weight of his revelation filled the cab of their SUV. Callie anchored herself to the rhythmic sound of the tires turning against the asphalt as she absorbed Gabriel’s reality. One that she’d had no clue about.
“And that’s why you love it,” she said. “It was the only—or close to only—place you could breathe.”
He nodded.
Again, silence filled the cab, and as the miles ticked by, his story percolated in her mind, raising questions. Where had she been able to breathe? Certainly not with her family or at school. Or the FBI when she joined the workforce. The answer, when it came, didn’t bowl her over. It didn’t shock her or even startle her. No, it settled in as if it had been there the entire time, even though she only now realized it.
“You and my grandparents were the same for me,” she said, wanting to share some of her truth with him. Not because she owed him or thought he expected it, but because it was true and honest.
“The place I could breathe,” she clarified. “Home was, well, never easy. School wasn’t much better.”
“Weren’t you a star student?”
She inclined her head. “I was, but that started because I was too terrified to come home with anything less than an A.”
“Itstartedthat way. What did it turn into?”
Inadvertently, her hands tightened around the steering wheel. She never talked about this—not even to Liza or Daphne.
“My way out,” she replied on an exhale.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him cock his head, his attention now fully on her.
She took a slow, deep breath, willing the nerves in her stomach to calm down. This wasGabriel. The one person she’dever felt free with. Granted, it had been a long time ago, but the boy was still a part of the man. And he’d never betray her confidence or make light of it.
“Daphne was already making plans to leave when I started high school. I couldn’t go the route she’d chosen, and I needed to find my own. I already had good grades so I took a page from your book,” she said. He shifted to look at her, but she kept her eyes on the road. “I decided to dive intoeverything. To embrace school and all it had to offer—socially and academically. Academics, sports, drama, debate, prom committee, student government—you name it, I did it.”
“I remember your school went to the state finals for track and field when you were running.”
She nodded. “Joining all those activities kept me out of the house—which was my favorite side effect—but it also gave me a way out. When it came time to apply to colleges, of course, my parents required I apply to all the Ivy Leagues, which I did, but I also applied to the schools with the best criminology and criminal justice programs. I got a full ride to three of them and ended up choosing the University of Chicago. It wasn’t the highest-ranked school, but it had the best internship programs, and I already knew that once I left home, I wasn’t ever going back.”
“How’d that go over?”
She chuckled darkly. “About as well as you can expect. I’d anticipated their reaction, though, and didn’t tell them until after graduation.” She paused, remembering that day. As she’d sat on her bed, her bags packed and tucked in the trunk of her car—the car she’d made sure was in her name and that she could afford to keep insuring—she’d felt an odd concoction of emotions. Nervousness about the path she’d chosen. Doubt as to whether she’d pull it off. Excitement at getting out and starting something new, something away from her parents. Sadness forwhat she knew was ultimately going to be the end of her relationship with her mom and dad. Despite not being a healthy one, she mourned the loss of what could have been.
Sitting there that day, having just turned eighteen, she never would have guessed where her choices would take her. Or where they would lead her—right back to Gabriel.
“The day after graduation, I told them I wouldn’t be going to Harvard as they’d told all their friends. I’d already packed everything I planned to take with me, so when they exploded—as I knew they would—I simply walked out and drove to my grandparents’. I stayed there all summer, working two jobs to make extra money before driving northwest to Chicago.”
“There’s nothing simple about that, Callie,” Gabriel said.
She tipped her head. “I haven’t seen them since.”
“Do you regret any of it?”
She gave his question some thought before answering. “I don’t regret doing what I did or the choices I made. I needed to get out from underneath them if I ever wanted to breathe freely. But I do regret that they were—are—the type of parents and people they are.”
“And when you finally got out, could you breathe?”
She hesitated. “Not like I’d hoped. It turns out that when you grow up the way I did, it stays with you. Plus, I was so freaked out about the possibility of losing my scholarship that I threw myself into school and any other activity that would keep making me look like a good investment to them.”
“Did you join the FBI right out of college?”
“Graduate school. I finished my undergrad in three years, then a master’s in a year. I majored in criminology and minored in political science, but then did my master’s degree in accounting. I’d done my research and knew that was the most likely combination to get me into the Bureau right out of school. My internships helped too, of course.”
