Page 78 of Stone
She blinked, moisture gathering in her eyes. They were getting to the heart of the matter. Avoidance had been a survival mechanism they’d each relied on—needed—to survive their childhoods. But it wouldn’t serve them now, and itreallywouldn’t serve them in the long run. They needed to bare everything, to be vulnerable, to share their fears. As hard as it might be, especially in times of stress, they needed to commit to honesty. Only then would they be able to walk through the fire and come out stronger than either of them had ever imagined.
“That’s how I felt last night when that tree fell, before I knew you were okay,” she said, taking two steps to stand in front of him. “I can’t…I don’t,” she exhaled. “I don’t even have the words to describe what happened in my head and my heart and my body when I thought you’d been crushed under the tree. I just found you, too,” she said. “And I don’t want to lose you, either.”
He lifted a hand and cupped her cheek before sliding it into her hair and tugging her close, pressing his forehead to hers.
“If we do this, we decide together,” she said. “With all the cards—all therealcards—on the table. There’s no hidinganything in the shadows. There’s no place for artifice between us. We’ve both had enough of that in our lives.”
Hearing the truth in her words, he closed his eyes. But even more than that, he understood them. They had choices—they could fall back on the patterns they’d needed as children to survive, or they could forge a new path. In many ways, they each already had, but there was no denying that the relationship they shared, the one they were building, was different from all the others in their lives. Different in a way that was both deeply powerful and scary as hell.
“I won’t ever be okay with you putting yourself in danger,” he said, opening his eyes.
“I know,” she said. “I feel the same.”
“And you should have talked to me before calling Parks.”
She took a deep breath, ready to own her mistake. “I know. I was scared, and I made a bad choice. I’m sorry.”
He studied then, on an exhale, said, “I don’t want to hide from you.” He paused and took a breath. “I’m sorry, too. I took the easy way out and reacted with anger rather than acknowledging the fear I really feel.”
“Vulnerability is hard even for people who grew up in safe, healthy environments. Neither of us had that privilege.”
“But we can choose to be different.”
“We already have, we just may need little reminders now and then to stay the course.”
His dark eyes held hers, the moment stretched, the bond between them strengthening with each breath. Her heart flipped when he opened his mouth to speak. He didn’t need to say the words she knew hovered between them, but she understood the power that saying them could have.
Only before he had a chance, the door swung open and Sherman, who’d stayed outside with Viper, came flying in. Simon braced a hand on her hip as thirty-five pounds of puppyraced toward them. Sherman’s paws slid on the hardwood when he tried—and failed—to stop before knocking into her. She laughed as Simon caught her, pulling her against him. Blissfully unaware of the moment he’d interrupted, Sherman circled their legs, tail wagging, as he tried to worm his way between them.
It was only after Viper announced Agent Parks that Simon brushed his lips over hers. Then sliding his hand over her shoulder and down her arm, he took her hand in his.
Juliana held tight as she turned and, shoulder to shoulder with Simon, they faced the agent.
Agent Parks’s gaze swept the room before landing on them. She seemed to assess their position and come to a conclusion. “We have a lot to discuss today,” she said.
Simon nodded. “Thatwedo.”
37
Stone felt Monk’s and Viper’s eyes dart toward him as he sat and listened to Agent Parks and Juliana throw potential ideas out and poke holes in them. At least Philly was on a job site and Stone didn’t have to deal with his wary looks, too. Or the tension between Philly and Parks. No, there was quite enough of that in the room, thank you very much.
As Parks and Juliana discussed each member of the triad, and which would be the most likely to cave first, he tried to find a bit of calm in the storm swirling inside him. Juliana had been right in pushing him to name his fears—they needed complete honesty to make it through this without resentment or doubts—but honesty was a double-edged sword.
It ripped away all artifice. It exposed his deepest vulnerabilities, leaving him feeling as if he’d flayed himself standing there in the lodge room.
On the other hand, without it, neither one of them would have felt trulyheard. And that was a breeding ground for resentment and distrust.
She was a far braver person than he, of that he had no doubt. Not only had she seen through his smoke and mirrors, but,making herself as vulnerable as he, she insisted that they push through them, together. Because it mattered to her, to him, and tothem.
A fleeting sense of shame washed through him that he hadn’t been strong enough, honest enough, to give voice to his real fears on his own. That he’d needed her to push him there. But in those few minutes, he’d learned a lesson—the responsibility for building the relationship they deserved sat onboththeir shoulders. Some days, she’d carry more of the burden, and some days, that would be his place. But neither would ever have to carry it alone.
“So that’s the plan then,” Agent Parks said, leaning back in her chair.
Stone blinked.
“He missed the whole thing,” Viper said. Parks and Juliana looked at him.
He shrugged. “My mind was on other things.”
