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She had no idea how much time passed, but eventually, Asher withdrew. “Fuck,” he said.
It wasn’t the good “fuck” that he usually uttered when he slid into her.
She lifted her head and looked at him. He was staring at her bare ass and thighs. “I forgot to use a condom,” he said, dragging his gaze to hers. “I’m so sorry, Ellie. I’m clean, so you know. And if this…results in anything, we will deal with it together.”
The thought of being pregnant sent a bolt of something through her. A little panic, if she had to define it. But not necessarily the bad kind of panic.
“I’m so sorry, Ellie,” he said again, backing off the bed.
“You weren’t the only one involved, Asher,” she replied, turning around to face him as she stretched her legs.
“I know. Believe me, I know.” A small smile touched his lips. “But it was still my responsibility.”
She shook her head. “Mine, too. What we do, we do together. And if you think I couldn’t tell the difference—if you think I didn’t know that was your skin against mine—then you’re very mistaken.” He cocked his head, studying her. She smiled. “You weren’t the only one caught up in the moment, Asher. The second you touched me, I knew that there wasn’t a condom. You felt so good, though, that I didn’t care. Maybe it was irresponsible, but honestly, I have a hard time thinking about it that way. If something comes of it, as you say, we’ll work it out. In the meantime, maybe I should look into getting an IUD? Because after what we just experienced, I’m not sure I can go back to having anything between us.”
He stared at her. For a long time. Enough time that she started to feel fidgety. “Asher, what are you thinking?”
He continued staring, then shook his head and held out his hand. “I’m thinking all sorts of things I shouldn’t be. Let’s hop in the shower. We need to be at HICC in twenty minutes.”
She put her hand in his, and when he pulled her up, he silenced her questions with a kiss. Then distracted her with the shower. It wasn’t until they were on the road that she asked him again.
“What were you thinking? Back there. In the bedroom?”
His jaw ticked. “I don’t want to be that guy who tells you what you do or don’t feel, but I really don’t think you want to know.”
Her stomach jolted at that. “That, um, sounds not good.” Was he thinking that her being okay if she got pregnant was too much too fast? Was she scaring him away?
“Stop,” he said, reaching over and taking her hand. “I can hear you second-guessing everything. It’s nothing bad.”
“Then, at the risk of sounding like a clichéagain, what’s the harm in telling me?”
He remained silent for about a mile, but she could tell he was thinking and not ignoring her. Finally, he sighed and answered. “I don’t want to tell you because I don’t want you to freak out.”
“You do realize that statement is bound to freak me out. At least a little,” she added with a smile.
He turned into HICC and stopped at the guard house. After getting checked, the gate opened, and he rolled through.
“Asher?”
He exhaled and squeezed her hand before letting go. “You really want to know?” She nodded. “I don’t want you to freak out. Or feel pressured or anything, okay?” Again, she nodded. He pulled into a parking spot and turned the truck off. Then, with his eyes fixed straight ahead, he answered.
“I was thinking about you pregnant. With our child. I was thinking about what you’d look like and how beautiful you’d be. I was thinking about how much I liked that idea.”
Her heart stuttered, both at his words and the images they conjured. Because she could see it, too. After a few weeks of knowing him, it was far easier than it should be to imagine being pregnant with their child. And being ecstatic about it. He’d make an excellent father and partner—husband—too.
“I freaked you out, didn’t I?” Asher said, his voice flat with worry.
She turned to find him watching her. She had no idea what he’d seen on her face. But she reached out and stroked a soothing finger along his cheek. “It should probably freak us both out a little bit. But no,” she said. “It didn’t freak me out at all.”
His eyes searched hers, then he leaned over and covered her mouth with his, pulling her into a deep kiss. When he drew back, he brushed his thumb over her lower lip. “I’m not sure what, if anything, we should do from here. But let’s get this meeting over with, find out who wants to harm you, and then we can talk about the future.”
She smiled and kissed his thumb before he let his hand drop. “There is one more thing I want to say, though,” she said as she slid from the car.
“What’s that?” Asher asked, taking her hand and leading her toward the door.
“If I do get pregnant, we have to be careful about telling Harry.” Asher stopped them and looked down at her, a thousand questions in his eyes. She smiled. “You think I’m exaggerating, but the excitement might kill him. Seriously, we might give the man a heart attack if we aren’t careful.”
A beat passed, then Asher threw his head back and laughed.
