Page 27 of Enamored
The guilt eats me alive as I look at her so helpless on the bed. Then I start to remember all the time she’s spent here already. All the chemo appointments and the days she would lay in bed all day, too tired to move. Fear races up my spine at the thought of her not pulling through. I should have been home so she didn’t have to drive. “I shouldn’t have gone away. I should have been here for her. It wouldn’t have happened if I was here,” I berate myself.
“Tristan, this isn’t your fault. You’re not going to blame yourself for this.” His voice leaves no room for discussion, and I know if I keep pushing, it will end in an argument.
He stands and stretches. “Take a little time with her. I’m going to get something to eat in the cafeteria. I’ll be back soon. Call me if anything changes while I’m away.” He places his hands on my strong shoulders, and I feel like a five-year-old boy again under the critical eye of my father. “I’m glad you went, son. There was something special between the two of you back then. You should get the chance to see if she’s what you want.” He pulls me into a hug and releases me just as fast.
I take his seat and take Mom’s hand in mine. She feels so frail, so sick. Her skin feels as thin as paper under my calloused fingers.
“Hey, Mom. Not sure if you can hear me, but I went to see Lana.”
I spend the next thirty or so minutes talking about what’s been going on for the past three days. I tell her I surprised Lana and how she reacted differently than I thought she would. I also tell her how she forgave me and that we are going to find a way to make it work—everything I know she would want to know about.
The steady beeping of the machines is the only indicator that my mom is still here. I watch her constant heartbeat on the screen, hoping for any other indicator of her hearing or understanding me. A few times, I thought I felt her squeeze my hand a little, but it could have been wishful thinking.
When Dad gets back, I ask him if he wants to go home for a bit, but he refuses to leave Mom. I decide it’s best to leave them alone for a while and check on things at the ranch. I know he’ll call me as soon as there’s a change in her condition.
The car pulls up outside my house, and Holden is there waiting for me. I gave him some updates on the car ride over. I haven’t called Lana yet, but I wanted to wait until I got home. Holden and I talk for a few minutes about some supplies that need to be ordered, and I tell him to get whatever he needs before I go upstairs to my old room and plop down on my bed to call Lana. She answers on the first ring.
“Tristan,” she says on a breath.
“Hey, sorry I didn’t call sooner. I got your text when I got to the hospital, but I wanted to see Mom first.” I close my eyes and rub my forehead, a stress headache on its way.
“That’s fine. I’m just glad to hear your voice. How is she?”
“She’s okay. We’re waiting for her to wake up from the coma. They took her off the medicine to keep her in that state, but she’s not waking up yet.”
“How long can that take?”
I shrug my shoulders, even though she can’t see me. “Don’t know. Hopefully, soon. Dad didn’t want to leave, but I wanted to check on things here and call you.”
“I’m glad you did. I miss you. I fly out tonight for England.”
“England? That’s where you’re going?”Interesting that the company would send her there.
She hesitates before answering. “Yeah. I’m working on a project with Mr. and Mrs. Carrington. When I saw her at the ranch, she mentioned having me come out to do some interior design work. I didn’t think she was serious, but I’m the only one she wants, and Eloise didn’t want to lose this client.”
Just. Fucking. Great. This is all a ploy set up by Russ to get her out there. I know it is. My jealousy rears its ugly head, and I grit my teeth to stop from yelling.
When I don’t say anything, she continues. “I’ve already told him off. I don’t want to see him, and if I do, I’ll tell him to leave me alone. It’s just a job.”
I know she’s right, and she has never given me a reason to not trust her. Even when I think back to ten years ago, I let my ego get in the way, and I lost her. I can’t do that again. I take a deep breath and push it out slowly, counting backward to calm my inner beast.
“I know. I trust you.”
She pushes out a deep breath. Even without seeing her, I know that was the right thing to say to ease her mind. “Don’t worry about me. Keep me updated with your mom. I have a feeling everything’s going to be okay.”
“Yeah. Will do. Talk to you later. Have a safe flight.”I love you.It’s too soon. I’d scare her away, but I’ve always been one to fall hard and fast. And this feels right. So damn right.
We hang up with the words on the tip of my tongue, and I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m angry at Russ. That piece of shit is going to be that close tomygirl. I don’t want him thinking it’s okay to try to make a move on her. She’s not available.
Yes, she is. No one ever said we were exclusive.She knows we are together now, right? I fight against my better judgment and don’t text or call her. I don’t want it taken the wrong way. I don’t want her to think I don’t trust her. It’shimI don’t trust.
I can’t lay up here forever. I’ve got a ranch to run and guests to take care of. I take a fast shower and get outside to help Holden with the guests. It’s an easy day since the ranch isn’t full this week—not that it ever is now—so at least I don’t have to worry when my mind wanders to my mom and Lana.
I haven’t heard from Dad all day, and it’s now late afternoon. I don’t think the hospital will let him sleep there overnight, but maybe it’s a special case for Mom. So, when he pulls up around eight at night, I meet him on the porch steps. He looks worn out.
“How’s Mom?” I ask, not able to contain myself.
He takes a deep breath and pushes it out. “No changes as of yet. The doctors really thought she would be awake by now, but they still said not to worry. You know your mom. Can’t rush her to do anything she’s not ready to do.” He chuckles and shakes her head. “Doctors still think she’ll make a full recovery.”
