Page 8 of Enamored
I think back to the past few years. I had Savannah, and she made me happy during that part of my life, and lately, there have been women that have warmed my bed, but those have all been random fucks. Nothing meaningful. Relationships are too much work. It was easier to get my dick wet when needed, and then send them on their way.
When Mom got sick, I poured my life into the ranch. Nothing else mattered than making sure Mom was okay and the ranch stayed afloat. When we weren’t at doctor’s appointments, I was figuring out inventory and staying on top of the daily activities. I’d been doing it for so long, it was already second nature. When my parents decided to hand the ranch to me earlier than expected, I took charge, no questions asked.
“Yeah. I am. I have the ranch and good friends. What else do I need?” I keep my eyes trained on the horizon, watching the horses graze and play in the field.
“Do you have a girlfriend?” She asks the question quietly, seemingly afraid of the answer I might give her.
I glance at her, and she’s picking at a blade of grass next to her hip. My eyes travel down the length of her leg, and my dick stirs. I picture her soft curves under me and the pretty moans that used to fall from her lips. I want to reach out and touch her, push her on her back, and press my lips to hers. I want to feel her under me, pressing her hips up to meet mine as I tease her like I used to. It’s torture being this close to her and not being able to do a damn thing about it.
“No, I’m not seeing anyone.”
She slowly nods her head, keeping her eyes trained on the grass at her feet, and cocks her lips up into a small smile. I start to ask her the same when Mom stands in front of us.
“Tristan, I’m ready to head back to the house to lie down. Can you bring me back?” she asks.
“Sure, Mom. Lana, are you going to stay here? We still need to go over your designs unless you want to review them back at the house.”
“You’re going to have to come back for everyone else, right?” I nod. “Then, I’ll stay. Come back when you’re done, and I’ll wait for you here.”
I smile and jump to my feet, already eager to get back. “I’ll be back soon, promise.”
Her smile fades. “Hopefully, you plan on keeping this one.”
Chapter 5
Lana
Tristan’s smile falters as the words slip past my lips.I always keep my promises.Those five words were uttered to me ten years ago, and I believed him. I believed when he said he didn’t want to hurt me, and I believed him again when he promised I meant something to him. But back then, I was a silly girl. I know better now.
Okay, I know it was a bitchy thing to say, and seeing the hurt flash across his features makes me feel bad for uttering it, but I could feel myself slipping into the familiarity of him. I wanted to pull his face to mine and kiss his pain away. I wanted to hold him, comfort him when he told me about his mom. Since coming back here, I have felt lighter somehow. It’s like there is some invisible connection between Tristan and me. As soon as he’s driven away, I feel his loss.
I lean against a tree and watch Maddie run around with Holden. I can’t help the smile that settles on my face. Time seems to stand still here. There isn’t an urgency to get things done or be on the move. Everything is relaxed. Kasey sits next to me and keeps her eyes on her daughter.
“Lana, right?” she asks.
“Yeah. Nice to see you, Kasey.”No, it’s not.I hoped I would never in my life ever have to see her again. I only met her once, but that was enough for me. But being an adult now means sometimes you have to put feelings aside and be nice.
“Listen, I don’t remember everything that happened between us, but I’m sorry. I was extremely immature and jealous over everything back then.” She turns her attention to me, and I study her, pulling my brows together.What’s her angle?“I do remember the day you left, though.” That piques my interest. “He was devastated. He became a shell of himself. I’ve never seen him like that, and I don’t want to see it again.”
What is she talking about? He’s the one who told me he didn’t want anything to do with me. He’s the one who sentmeaway. I would have fought for him, for us. I clear my suddenly dry throat. “He’s the one who chose to end things with me. Not the other way around.”
She shrugs. “Yeah, I know, but it’s not because he wanted to. He was told to.”
My heartbeat picks up, and I hear my blood whooshing between my ears. She’s lying. Holden would have said something to me. He wouldn’t have listened to me cry all those times and let me suffer like that, would he? “What are you talking about? Who told him not to?” Why am I even listening to her? She made me feel like I was beneath her while I was here, like I was gum on the bottom of her shoe.
“There was some guy that was here the same time you were. He threatened Tristan. Tristan did what he thought was going to be the best for you.” She shrugs and raises her arms out in front of her as Maddie tumbles into her lap. She kisses the girl on the top of her head and nuzzles her nose into her.
I get up and walk over to Holden, who’s watching me like a hawk.
“Holden, why did Kasey just tell me there was someone who forced Tristan to end things with me?”
I see his jaw tick, but other than that, he keeps his features neutral. “Because she doesn’t know how to keep her damn mouth shut,” he mumbles.
“Holden, what happened that day you found me? Who threatened Tristan? What is she talking about?” Is it possible he never wanted to end things with me? Was I actually good enough for him? I can’t stop the tidal wave of emotions threatening to bring me under. All this time, I thought I was just a fuck for him. Not worth his time.
He shakes his head. “Lana, it’s not for me to tell. If he wants you to know, you’re going to have to ask him.”
“Holden,” I reach out and grasp his hand in mine, “we’ve talked on and off for years. You never told me anything like this. Why wouldn’t you? How could you keep this from me?” He pulls his hand out of mine and takes a small step back. I see worry written all over his face.What is he so afraid of?The hairs on my arms stand at attention, and I can feel him behind me.
