Page 57 of What's the time, Mr. Wolfe
We whizzed past signposts, and I had no idea where we were. By the time he slowed, tears were leaking from my eyes.
“Let it the fuck out,” he snapped.
I looked at him and shook my head rapidly.
He sighed. “Let it out Ruby,” he repeated, a little gentler.
I laughed. I squashed my hands into my lap, so I didn’t pee on his leather seats, and laughed hard.
It was a laugh of hilarity and partly astonishment. When embarrassed, I laughed. When on the back foot or scared, I sometimes laughed. I think, what was bursting from me was a combination of them all.
He slowed the car, and eventually indicated to pull into a service station.
“Oh, coffee,” I said looking at the drive-through.
He didn’t drive through.
“Oh,” I said, looking at it behind me.
“The car is too low. We’ll go in,” he said.
He parked the car and took his time climbing out and opening my door.
“I need to pee, badly,” I said, bouncing from foot to foot.
He slowly shook his head in exasperation, I thought.
“I’ll order then,” he said, and strode off.
I jiggled while I followed and then ran to the loos.
When I returned, he was sitting at a table and looking out the window. He actually looked a little lost, forlorn even.
He looked up as I approached and then smiled when I sat.
“I’m sorry for laughing. I do that when I’m embarrassed, or... whatever,” I said.
He slid a coffee towards me. “Accepted.”
“But it is a bit mad, isn’t it?”
“What is, Ruby?”
“All this, her playing with you, you playing with her, her wanting to play with me, not allowed to, and all that stuff.” I made it sound like we were in a primary school playground.
Finally, he chuckled. He frowned and smiled, then shook his head. “Yeah, fucking mad.”
He reached forwards and took my hand in his. “I get jealous, and I have no rights over you. You’re free to do what you want.”
I looked down at our joined hands, then back at his face. He didn’t look his age, he looked much younger.
“I like that you get jealous and maybe I want you to have a right over me. I know what I want, Sebastian.”
I’d spoken so quietly, that when he didn’t reply, Ithought he might not have heard. I looked down at my coffee cup, knowing my cheeks were alight.
“Do you understand what you’re asking for?”
I looked up. His head was cocked to one side.
