Page 12 of What's the time, Mr. Wolfe
He placed his mobile back on the table. For a moment, he didn’t speak. “Something tells me to,” he said, quietly.
“Something...?” I wasn’t sure what else to say.
“I want to. Have you finished?”
I hadn’t, but I picked up my mug and drowned the rest of my hot coffee. “Yes.”
“I’ll take you home.”
I could have walked, but I wanted to spend a little more time with him. I wanted to know what thesomethingwas. I wasn’t responsible for his conscience, and I didn’t want theonlyreason he helped me to be because he felt he had to. I didn’t want help, yet I knew I needed it.
We drove back in silence, him looking out one side of the car and me the other. It was with a pang of disappointment that I left his car and watched it drive away. I sighed. He was a problem I didn’t need.
As promised, a couple of hours later, a van arrivedwith not just a washing machine, but also a tumble dryer. I had no idea how he’d arranged for their delivery so quickly, and just assumed he held stock. Maybe hisposherproperties came fully furnished. The van driver told me he was to install the appliances as well, and I was grateful that the old outside toilet had electricity and plumbing. It made for a perfect utility room.
When he had gone and the window fitters had finished, I stood in the empty house. It was a mess but warm, and, more importantly, so very quiet. No road noise, not that it was a busy road. No kids from next door screaming in the garden. No dogs barking from the often reported puppy farm behind me. I sat on the floor and closed my eyes and just... be.
It took an hour to straighten the house and clean it. By then, I had thecleaning bugand rushed to the local store. I bought washing powder and softener, desperate to have fresh smelling bed linens. As much as I was fastidious about clean bed linen, especially for Grandma who spent so much time in bed, the laundrette didn’t provide nice smelling products. I stripped both beds and got such silly enjoyment out of using the new machine, I actually clapped when it started.
I opened my phone and sent an email.
Thank you. I’m washing sheets! And other stuff, and I’ll wash some clothes so I look smart.
I pressed send before I read it back and only after realised how juvenile it sounded.
“Jesus, Ruby,” I muttered and then cursed that there wasn’t a way to retract and delete emails before they were seen.
I could pretend that, because of the shattered screen, I couldn’t actually see what I was typing, I guessed. Although, I doubted he’d fall for that.
Clean sheets are a favourite of mine ;)
He winked in his reply! I wasn’t sure Mr. Wolfe had the capability of a wink; his humour was so dry. I laughed, not entirely sure what he meant.
After remaking the beds and making sure that Grandma’s bedroom was perfect for her return, I stood in front of my wardrobe. I had clothes, I even had a dress I’d forgotten about. I tended to wear jeans and t-shirts, because they were easy, and jeans didn’t need to be washed after every wear. I had shoes. Well, I had one, and I was sure I could find the other. I pulled everything out and laid it on my bed. Some items made me smile, while some made me cry. I hated that memories were attached to some, but there they were, no matter how silly. The dress that no longer fitted me, I remembered wearing, as my mother and I ran across the beachwhen we first moved to Spain as we splashed into the sea fully clothed. I picked it up and held it to my nose, wishing it still smelled of her or the sea. It didn’t, of course.
My mother was English. She’d fallen in love with my father the minute she saw him, so she’d tell me. She had no parents, no one that she talked about, and I never questioned that. She laughed a lot. She smiled a lot more. Until the drugs and the drink ravished her, destroyed her soul, leaving nothing but a shell of a woman desperate for her release.
I knew exactly how she died but never said. Others said it was an accidental overdose, that she would never leave me intentionally. I didn’t blame her, though. She did the right thing for her. She hated her life, and she knew she’d ruin mine if she continued. Her only way of ensuring I’d be safe was to take herself completely out of the picture. To me, that was a brave thing to do. I loved her, then and now, and I would continue to thank her for what she did. Although my life was tough, I knew that wouldn’t last forever. I could have an amazing life because of her. I was tenacious enough to go for it.
I shuddered to rid myself of the thoughts. I didn’t want happy or sad. I wanted angry because that’s what drove me so hard. Anger at my father, anger at the illness that was slowly taking my grandmother, and anger at... I wasn’t sure what else, but I knew I’d beangry at it, whatever it was. I chuckled. My brain was fucked up sometimes.
By the end of the day, I had a sparkling house, clean clothes laid out for myinterviewthe following day, but it was too quiet. I walked into the living room and turned on the television. I was just in time for one of Grandma’s favourite quiz shows. I found myself answering questions and turning to an empty chair to chat to Grandma. I missed her desperately, but there was a tiny part, deep inside, that I wanted to suffocate, that liked the peace, the solitude, and the knowledge that I might get a full night’s sleep.
Chapter Five
Iwas a bag of nerves the following day. For two reasons. I had my appointment with my new boss—although I wasn’t sure when I would start work since I hadn’t finished college—and Monica was collecting Grandma and bringing her home.
As I dressed, my mind was in a whirl. How would I manage a full-time job and care for Grandma at the same time? The local council gave me anallowanceto pay for Monica, but it would never be enough to have full-time care.
By the time Sebastian’s car arrived outside, minus Sebastian, I was pleased to note, I was in a state. I wanted to cry. This was an amazing opportunity and in my head, I knew I might have to turn it down. Mydream of becoming an architect might just have to stay that way... a dream.
Although the driver greeted me, we continued the journey in silence. I was thankful for that. I was sure that my nerves would show, and my voice would crack with the conflicting emotion. I was excited; I was nervous, terrified, and upset. Mixed together, that manifested itself as my usual gobby self. I would have to learn to bite down hard on my tongue.
We pulled up alongside an impressive building, all glass and stainless steel, and it puzzled me to see arrowhead designs everywhere. At least, I thought that was what they were. A smartly dressed woman stood up from behind a desk to greet me by name.
“Ms. Montando, welcome to P.I.F. Would you like to follow me?”
She smiled and displayed, like Sebastian, the whitest of teeth. Perhaps they all got a dentistry plan with their salary!
