Page 89 of What's the time, Mr. Wolfe
Tony pushed gently at my back, so I folded at the waist. I rested my head on my knees and tried hard to get my breath. All it did was to make me feel worse. I really panicked then. My diaphragm was restricted. Istood up, as much as I could, and started to scream. I was aware the sound was coming from me, but unaware that also meant I had air in my lungs.
“My father just showed up,” I said, wheezing out the words. I then started to cry.
“Hey, come on. It’s okay,” he said, and he wrapped his arms around me. It wasn’t him I wanted, though. It was Sebastian.
“Call... call...” I just couldn’t get my words out.
“I have. He’s on his way, Ruby. Let’s sit, come on. I’m here, no one is going to get to you, I promise.”
I tried my hardest to get my breathing under control. It had been so many years since I’d had a panic attack, I had to dig deep to recall my coping techniques. I focussed on one spot on the carpet and emptied my mind. I counted my breaths until I’d found an even rhythm, if still a little too fast. My head swam and I closed my eyes.
I heard Sebastian crash through the front door.
“Where is he?” I kept my eyes closed and counted. My heart rate had increased.
“Gone.”
They whispered, I didn’t hear, and then I felt him beside me. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me to his chest.
“I’m here, baby,” he said.
I cried, then. Big whacking sobs left my chest. Sobsof fear and anger at my father showing up. The tears and sobs that I’d held in since Grandma had passed joined them.
By the time the sobs had subsided, I was only able to partially open my eyes. They were so swollen.
“I’m here, baby,” he repeated.
I gripped his shirt, clutching the material as tight as I could. I needed to hold on to him, to something that smelled of him, to ground me.
I inhaled deeply and it calmed me.
Eventually, I looked up at him. “I’m sorry,” I said, my voice croaky with emotion.
“You have nothing to apologise for.” He kissed my forehead. “I want to get you home.”
Home. The thought that my father had been spying through our window gave me shudders. He’d been on the missing persons list for years. Fucking years! And yet, he obviously lived close enough to spy on us. Anger and bile rose quickly. I leaned forwards and threw up. Sebastian rubbed my back and I started to cry again.
“Come on,” he said, standing and pulling me to my feet.
“I need to...” I wasn’t sure what I needed. I could smell vomit, but I wasn’t sure if it was over me or just the floor.
“You don’t need to do anything. Let’s get you home. Your new home.”
Hisvoice was harsh, but I knew he was containing his anger. I assumed Tony had told him who had knocked on my door.
He held me to his side as we left the house. I saw the flash of a red car in front of me and then the door was opened, and I was helped inside.
I closed my eyes again. The light hurt them. I curled up on the seat and waited for Sebastian. He leaned over me to plug in the seatbelt and then I felt a breeze as he opened the driver’s door. The roar of the engine was a comfort, the speed was welcomed. He was whisking me away as quick as possible, and I was thankful for that.
“After all these years, why now?” I whispered.
“I don’t know, but I’m going to fucking find out.”
“He said he knew she’d died. How?”
He reached over to take my hand. “Iwillfind out.”
I stayed silent the rest of the way.
