Page 69 of What's the time, Mr. Wolfe
“You were underage, Ruby.”
“They didn’t care. So we ran again. My dad said he was going to sell the house and we’d move countries. He disappeared and I’ve never seen him since. He sold the house, leaving me homeless. That’s when Grandma came to my rescue again. I was twelve, Sebastian. Old enough to be charged as a juvenile in Spain.”
“Charged with what, Ruby? You didn’t do anything wrong!” There was a level of exasperation in his voice.
I looked up at him. “I injected her. It was me that did it. Her hands shook so much she couldn’t get the needle in. I took it from her and did it myself. I killed her.”
I broke down then and he hugged me tight. He rocked me as I wailed, letting out eight years, more even, of pain and anger, of loneliness and hunger. I had been dirty, I’d seen things I should never have seen, done things a child should never have done. I’d had no education until I was a teenager. I told him all this while he comforted me.
“Shush, baby. It’s okay. It’s okay,” he repeated.
Spent, I slumped against him. “I can go home now, if you want me to.”
“Are you kidding me? You and me, Ruby, we’re more alike than you think we are.” I looked at him, waiting for him to continue. “What you did was a mercy. You gave your mother the release she needed, and you saved your own life in the meantime. It was a form of self-defence. I’ve killed in cold blood. For real, Ruby. I’ve murdered, willingly and knowingly. You haven’t.”
He showed no emotion at all. I placed my hands on his cheeks. “You can leave me if you want. I won’t tell you all the details because it’s way too gory, but I was abused, and I killed one of my abusers when I was twelve years old. I took great delight in it, Ruby. I went to juvenile prison for seven years. It wasonlyseven years because the police and social services knew they’d let me down, so I guess I did a token time away. When I was released, I became homeless.”
“You killed to save other children, didn’t you?” I asked.
“I killed because I hated with such passion that if I hadn’t acted on my desire, Ruby, I would have gone mad. Other children didn’t figure.Iwanted him dead forme.Iwanted to see the pain on his face as he bled out, and I took great pleasure in it. I stabbed him,multiple times. I washed my hands in his blood, Ruby. Thankfully, the police thought I was fighting him off, I was charged with manslaughter.”
I closed my eyes and rested my forehead on his. “I should be scared of you,” I whispered.
“Are you?”
I shook my head. “No, but I should, shouldn’t I?”
“I can’t answer that, Ruby.”
“What does it say about me, I’m not? I’m not scared of you at all.”
“It says that you’re a courageous woman who sees beyond what you’re told.”
“I guess so.”
“So now we know the worst in each other. How do you feel?” he asked.
“No different. When I’m with you, I feel safe and secure. I feel comfort for the first time in my life. I feel at peace. I feel like I belong somewhere.”
“Good.” He held me tighter.
“How did it feel?” I asked him. “To watch him die.”
“Pleasing. How did you feel?”
“Sad, but relieved. She just went to sleep and didn’t wake up. I waited with her, and then my dad came in.”
“What did he do?”
“He beat me for using all the drugs.”
He stiffened beside me.
“I don’t know where he is, I suspect somewhere like Cuba, somewhere he can speak the language. And now, I don’t care. I did for a long time. I wanted my money, wanted what was due, but now, I don’t think it was ever about the cash. It was more about him not benefitting from her death.”
“You don’t need him, and you certainly don’t need that money,” he said.
Sebastian stood and pulled me to stand beside him. He looked at me, tracing my face with his eyes.
