Page 36 of What's the time, Mr. Wolfe
I twisted my body to see in the mirror. “Jesus!” I said, catching a glimpse.
He dressed and then ran downstairs to collect my clothes. Once I was dressed again, we walked out of the house. He carried the shopping bags. To the side, were garages. He told me to wait while he collected his car.
I wished he hadn’t driven as fast. I didn’t want to get home, but I knew I needed to. Soon, we were there, and I sat for a moment.
“I feel guilty,” I said, looking at the house.
“Why?”
“Because I’ve been enjoying myself and I should have been looking after my Grandma.”
“Are you not allowed to enjoy yourself?” he asked, gently.
“No, not really.”
He didn’t reply. He left the car and opened my door. I took his hand and stood. When he opened the boot to retrieve the bags, a tear slipped from my eye.
“Why the tears?” he asked, walking with me to the front door.
“Thank you for today. Can you return those?” I asked, pointing to the bags.
“Why would I want to?”
“Because this isn’t my reality,” I said, placing my hand on his chest. “This is,” I added, turning to the front door.
“Why can’t you have both?” he asked.
I sighed. “I don’t deserve to have both. You don’t know what I’ve done.”
He stepped closer to me. “Are you sure about that?”
“You can’t know. No one knows.”
“I know a tortured soul when I see one. One that mirrors mine.”
I shook my head, opened the front door, and stepped in. He didn’t attempt to hand me the bags, and I wasn’t ashamed of the tears that flowed down my face.
“Thank you for today. I really do appreciate it. I guess... I guess I’ll see you at work.”
He nodded. “I’ll keep these at mine for when you’re ready.”
I closed the front door.
It wasn’t Tim on duty that night, but someone new, Emma. I guessed she’d heard me and kept her distance. It was only when I was making tea that she appeared.
“Hi, Ruby,” she said, startling me.
“Sorry, I was making tea. How is my grandma?”
“She’s sleeping. She woke once and asked after you. I told her you were sleeping, too. That settled her.”
“Thank you. I can carry on from here,” I said.
She nodded and returned to the living room to grab her bag.
“You know, carer breakdown is the most commonthing I see as a professional carer. If you don’t look after you, you’re no good to your grandma.”
I didn’t respond and she left, not before telling me that Jim was on the following morning, and he’d be there at eight. I thanked her.
