Page 8 of Jackson
I felt him move, my support was gone and I pulled my hand away. He had circled me, pushing me back against the cool glass of the balcony. His body pressed against me once again, and he placed his hands either side of my face. His fingers tangled in my hair as he lowered his mouth to mine. I felt them dig into my skin and his pelvis push into me as his lips found mine, as his tongue swiped acrossmine.
I wrapped my arms around him, my fingers dug into his back as our kiss became deeper, more urgent. I clawed at his back as his moan filled my mouth. Never in my life had I experienced a kiss like that. It was a kiss that literally took my breath away. It sucked all the oxygen from my lungs, my brain scrambled, and my blood pumped faster. My heart raced as I tried to draw in air through my nose. His kiss was intense, demanding; he devouredme.
Just as I moaned, as my body was about to give in to the heat, he pulled his head away. I struggled to catch my breath as he rested his forehead on mine. His chest rose and fell in time withmine.
“I’m sorry,” he said and then took a stepback.
My brow furrowed in confusion. I looked at him, his blue eyes, darkened with the desire I knew he felt, stared back atme.
He took a step away and ran one hand through his hair. He closed his eyes and took a deepbreath.
“I’m not,” I said. “I’m not sorry you kissed me and I kissed you back. I’m not sorry that was about the most passionate kiss I’ve ever experienced. I’m not sorry that you were aroused, that I stillam.”
He didn’t speak. His hand fell to his side and he sighed as he let his head fall back. He looked up at thestars.
The frustration I felt threatened to overwhelm. We’d danced around a need for each other for nearly a year. Tears welled in my eyes and I balled my fists by my side. I walked past him and back to my room without a backward glance. I was embarrassed; I was aroused. My heart still pumped hard in my chest that had constricted at hisrejection.
I threw myself onto the bed and covered my eyes with myarm.
What the fuck was that?Ithought.
I squeezed my thighs together, trying to gain some relief from the pulsing I felt. I measured my breaths as a way to slow my racing heart. My fist pounded the bed as a tear rolled down mycheek.
“You’re my best friend’s wife,” I heard, whispered from thedoor.
I stilled but kept my arm over my eyes as ashield.
“And your best friend is dead,” Ireplied.
I choked on the words as they left my lips. I didn’t need reminding, and I didn’t need his rejection. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t stop the sob leaving my body. I curled on my side, silently cursinghim.
I knew he was still there, I could hear the soft shuffle of his bare feet against the wooden floor. I felt the dip of the bed as he sat on theedge.
“I’m not the person you think I am,Summer.”
I turned to face him. He sat facing the doors, staring out to sea as hespoke.
“So who are you? Who is Jackson, the man I’ve known for over threeyears?”
He didn’t answer immediately. “I feel like I’m betrayingDane.”
“That didn’t answer myquestion.”
“I’m not ready to answer your question. I’m sorry,okay?”
“No, it’s not okay. Your best friend, my husband has been dead a year now. We’re not betraying anyone. I don’t know what happened out there, but I do know we both wanted it—we both enjoyedit.”
My voice had trailed off to a whisper. I wasn’t about to beg him. I’d known Jackson for so long, we had been great friends, we’d flirted innocently, and I was terrified that friendship had been soured. I needed him; I’d be devastated if I losthim.
I sighed and placed my hand on hisback.
“If that kiss damages our friendship, I’d be devastated, Jack. I need you in my life. If you want to just forget it ever happened, then that’s what we’lldo.”
“That’s the problem, I don’t want to forget. I can still taste your skin on my lips; I can smell your perfume, the scent of your hair. I can feel your tongue against mine. Out there? I wanted to fuck you sohard.”
My stomach knotted at his words. “Then why didn’t you?” Iwhispered.
“Because my head is a little fucked up rightnow.”
