Page 57 of Jackson
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Jackson
It had been two days of pure hell. I missed Summer so much it hurt. I was a bundle of nerves and had typed, then deleted, so many messages. Dexter had said that she needed some time to think, alone. I needed to respect that. I was also pissed off that he had removed all the knives from the kitchen. As if that would stop me from cutting. I hadn’t, but there were plenty of tools I could use had the desire taken overme.
The nights were the worst. I lay hour after hour thinking of her, of myself, and the fucked up life I was leading. When it got too much—I ran. I ran along the beach in the dark and again during the day. Dexter came over every day, D-J sometimes accompanied him and we sat. I itched to get to the bar; I hated being away, of having the feeling of being excluded, even though I knew it was for my own good. I didn’t drink to excess, normally, but there was the risk I’d freak out and the bar wasn’t the place forthat.
It was late in the evening when a car pulled onto the drive. I had heard the crunch of tyres on the gravel while I’d sat outside watching the sun dip below the horizon. I heard voices and my heart missed a beat. Dexter and Summer walked around the side of the house and up the steps to thebalcony.
I stood, unsure at first what to do. She gave me a smile but looked as hesitant as Iwas.
“I’ll let you guys talk. If you need me, either of you, call,” Dex said before making his way back down thesteps.
“Hey,” Isaid.
“How are you?” she asked. Then chuckled a little. “Dumb question,huh?”
“I’ve missedyou.”
She took a step towards me; I did the same. I sighed as she wrapped her arms around my waist and laid her head on my chest. I placed my arms around her and held her tight. I kissed the top of her head when I heard a gentlesob.
“Please don’t cry,” Iwhispered.
“I promised myself I wouldn’tbut…”
“I know. Come on, sit withme.”
She left her holdall on the decking and I led her to the daybed. She curled up against me and placed her hand on mychest.
“I missed listening to your heart beating,” shesaid.
“I don’t want us to talk tonight, I just want to be withyou.”
“Same. No talking, just hold meclose.”
We stayed that way, in silence, for a while. She shifted slightly so her face was in the crook of my neck. I felt her lips brush against my skin and I closed myeyes.
“Ican’t…”
“I know, just let me do this,” shesaid.
I wanted so desperately to fuck her, no, I wanted to make love to her, but I didn’t know how. I knew only one way and I couldn’t go there right then. I was pent-up with frustration and sadness; I didn’t want to ruin anything by hurting her. It took all my restraint not to roll her to her back and at least kiss those lips that were tormenting me. She sighed as she pulled her headaway.
“You understand, don’t you?” Iasked.
“I do. I just want to be close to you rightnow.”
I slid from the bed and held out my hand for her. She took it and stood. I walked her to my bedroom and closed the door behindme.
“Sleep with me?” Iasked.
She nodded her head and smiled. “Clothed?”
“Partially might be better,” I replied. “I guess I better find someshorts.”
She laughed as she stripped down to her panties, leaving her vest top on but undoing her bra and threading it through the straps. I pulled off my t-shirt and undid my jeans. Before I let them fall, I grabbed a pair of shorts and made my way to the bathroom to change. She was lying under the sheet when Ireturned.
It felt good to lie beside her, to hold her in my arms and feel her body against mine. I inwardly cursed the vest top but smiled to myself when I felt her hard nipples graze my side as she shifted to getcomfortable.
