Page 20 of Jackson
“No, I’ll have a cup of tea,though.”
I refreshed her cup and she sat outside, waiting for me to join her. I grabbed a coffee and sat at the end of thedaybed.
“You might need to get someone to look at your stomach,” shesaid.
I guessed she’d noticed the way I’d gingerly sat down. “Dex will fix meup.”
“Dex?”
“He’s the fixer-upper,” I said, and then stood. “Will you be okay for anhour?”
“Of course, I’ll sunbathe for a while. There are no sharks out there, arethere?”
“No. Well, I don’t know, actually. Stay on thebeach.”
She laughed as I walkedaway.
* * *
Dexter wasin the safe room when I walked behind the bar and through the stockroom. I paused, as was the rule, at the door. I listened for a moment, wondering who was inside. I’d only known Dex was in there because the door was closed. It was always left open to those who knew what and where itwas.
I tapped on the brown wooden door and waited. A shadow fell across the peephole before it was opened. Dex held the door open wide for me toenter.
“He okay?” I asked, indicating with my head to D-J, who was asleep on thebed.
“He will be. Come and sit, talk tome.”
The room was large and had been all Dexter’s idea. Against one wall was a double bed and a dark wooden unit stood flush against another, in a corner were two leather armchairs with a small table in between. The walls were painted indigo; Dex gave me some bullshit about its calming effects when I’d first had reason to use theroom.
I slumped into one of the leather chairs, Dex satopposite.
“What did he do?” I asked as I looked at D-J. He hadn’t stirred atall.
“Overdosed, although not to the point of danger. Somehow he got hold of some pills and took them on top of his regulateddose.”
“So you had me and him to deal with lastnight.”
Dex chuckled quietly. “Will you get him clean?” Iasked.
“I believe so. I’ve done it plenty of times before. He’s fighting against it right now. Addicts are all the same, Jack. It takes a lot to kick it and it’s normal to relapse every now andagain.”
I guessed he was referring to me. No matter what we did, whether it was snorting shit up our noses, cutting our skin, or doing what else I did, we were alladdicts.
“I feel likeshit.”
“I imagine you do. Can you tell me aboutit?”
I rested back in the chair and closed my eyes. I recounted the previous evening and how frustrated I was that I didn’t understand what set it off. Dex made me analyse everything I said until I came to understand that, as much as I didn’t want it to be, it was the presence of Summer. She reminded me of home, she reminded me of all that was wrong withhome.
“I don’t want to send her away. I need anotheroutlet.”
He nodded at me; he understood exactly what I needed. And he would be there to pick me up after when he found me, sobbing on the floor, clawing at the dirt and depravity I would believe crawled over my skin. It was the same everytime.
“I don’t know how long this can go on for,Jack.”
“I know. One last time, I need it,Dex.”
“I’ll get in touch. But I’m going to have to stop this soon, son. You know the drill. It’s time to face the demons and conquer them, not give inanymore.”
