Page 11 of Jackson
5
Jackson
I stared at her as she looked out to sea. I could see the tears that she tried desperately to hold back and my stomach knotted with hatred. If her husband was still alive, I’d fucking bury the prick myself for what he’ddone.
Dane had been my best friend through school. In fact, he’d been the only kid to want to know me. I had a difficult childhood and most thought I was aloof, the other kids were wary of me and kept their distance. I’d been with Dane when he met Summer, we were mid-twenties by then and at a bar in the city. I’d spotted her across the room and gave him a nudge. I remembered telling him that I was going to talk to her, buy her a drink. It was her long auburn hair and dark brown eyes that had caught my attention. She looked like a deer caught in headlights, at first. She was scanning the bar, looking for someone, and her face lit up with a broad smile when she caught sight of her friend. Before I had the chance to approach her, Dane was off. I watched her laugh at something he’d said, subtly tossing her hair over her shoulder, and I knew that was it. She was lost tome.
Over the years we grew close, very close. But at times I couldn’t stand to be near her. I wanted her, I’d never stopped, and I knew what a fucking shit Dane was in real life, in the life she knew nothing about. He gambled, he fucked women like they were going out of fashion: hookers, skanks, anyone. I started to distance myself from him, but I couldn’t do that to her, so I stayed on the outskirts of our circle of friends. I would have walked away, but I wanted to be just close enough to be sure I was there when she needed me. And I knew, one day, she’d needme.
I closed my eyes and raised my face to the sun as I recalled the previous evening. For years I had wanted to kiss her, to taste her, and feel her arms around me in a gesture other than friendship. I’d always managed to hold back those feelings. Something snapped in me though. My usual strength and resolve had failed me. It was when she had leaned back against my chest and pointed to stars I could quite clearly see, that I felt it. My heart broke a little, because I’d always known I couldn’t give her the life she deserved. I couldn’t be the man she would want to grow old with because I was too fucked up. I swallowed down the anger I felt towards my father, the man that tried to break me until I had the strength to walk away. The man that, in my mind, screwed me over so much I was unable to love that woman the way she needed tobe.
“Come on, let me show you my empire,” I said as I stood. I wanted her to see the bar and the artwork I’d alreadystarted.
Summer had been the only one, other than my sister, who understood my need for my art. Whether that art translated as tattoos covering my body or graffiti on a wall, it was my way of expressing myself in pictures instead of words. Some of it was dark, clearly displaying the damage I felt. Some of it was uplifting; giving me hope for a future I desperatelywanted.
We walked into the house and I watched as she bent down to retrieve her shoes. She was perfect to me, petite and curvy. Not slim, not overweight, just right. Not that her size would have mattered in the slightest. It was her mind, her nature, not her body that Iloved.
I opened the car door for her after I’d locked the frontdoor.
“Ever the gentleman,” she said with alaugh.
Yeah, and that’s not what I want to be,Ithought.
“Tell me about the bar?” she asked as we drove along thehighway.
“It’s called Passion. It’s a great place; imagine the bar in the movie,Coyote Ugly. It’s about the same, but with three hot guys behind the bar. We’ve closed it down for a few days but it’s really buzzing atnight.”
“Three hot guys? You’ll have to introduce me,” she teased, but a knot formed in my stomach at herwords.
I didn’t answer. The guys would love her; it was going to be a difficult morning. I had half a wall done and wanted it finished before the official reopening. We pulled into the car park and I leapt from the car to open her door for her. I held out my hand to help her but pulled away at the feel of the static that jumped between our fingers. She frowned at me but saidnothing.
“Come on, and watch out for those hot guys, of whom I’m one, by the way,” I said, then laughed to let her think I wasjoking.
“And here’s my favourite man, but that sweetie sure can’t be your girlfriend,” I heard as we walked through thedoor.
I laughed and shook my head. Dexter stood behind the bar polishing someglasses.
“You're way too old, my friend, to stand a chance with her. Summer, meet Dexter, theoldbloke who owns the place,” Isaid.
“Enough of the fucking old, Jack. Summer, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you. I’ve heard alot.”
Summer laughed as he not only took her hand in his, but also raised it to hislips.
“All good, I hope,” shesaid.
“Sure, all good. Now, what can I get you drink?” he askedher.
Dexter led her to a stool, while I pulled off my t-shirt and picked up a bucket of spray paint that I’d left the previous day at the side of the bar. I watched as Summer sat and chatted with him. He handed her a cold bottle of beer, and I swallowed hard as I saw her tongue gently lick around the rim before she placed the bottle to her lips. My cock twitched in my jeans. I turned on my heels and headed for the half-finished wall. The only way I could get her mouth around that bottle out of my mind was to immerse myself in my other passion, myart.
I soon lost myself in the smell of paint and in the design on the wall. It was hell, or my interpretation of it. If anyone studied it, they’d see a small figure that resembled my father. It wasn’t macabre; in the centre I’d replicatedThe Last Judgmentbut placed it in hell. To me, heaven and hell were one and the same. I’d lived in both. I’d lived in hell that masqueraded as heaven. As much as Summer believed she’d lived a lie in her marriage, I’d lived a lie my wholelife.
James Bay’s, Scarsa song that resonated with me, blasted through the speakers as I worked. I quietly sang along until I felt a hand on my shoulder. I straightened and turned towardsher.
“Jack, it’s amazing. This has to be your best work yet,” she said, as she studied thewall.
I watched her face, so animated and full of pride at what I wasdoing.
“Talk me through it?” she asked, as she stepped closer to thewall.
