Page 20 of Resolution
I can’t deny my eyebrows aren’t shooting through my hairline with this line of talk.Do kids really stay out all night with one another?The mom in me acts before I think it all the way through. “By staying out all night… You mean…”
“Mom!” Maddie’s cheeks turn pink. “You know what I mean.” She shakes her head. “Don’t make me say it…”
Soren uses this exact moment to take a long drink from the water bottle he has in his hands and seems rather uncomfortable.
I look back and forth between the two of them. Neither of them will make eye contact with me, but when I scrutinize Maddie, I can tell she’s hiding something.Fuuuck, I don’t want to broach this subject.Sometimes it sucks being the responsible adult.But when neither says more, I guess it’s time to put on my big girl britches and face this head on.Here goes nothing.“Is this something the two of you intend on doing in the near future?”
Water bursts from Soren’s mouth and spews all over the counter. He immediately sucks in a deep breath and begins to cough, as Maddie shouts, “MOOOMMM!”Well, that was priceless. It takes all I can to keep a straight face.
I cock a hip against the counter and raise an eyebrow. “What?” I say defensively. “You obviously talk openly about this, so why can’t I do the same?”
Not a peep comes from either one of them, but I’m in for a penny, might as well go in for a pound. “Not that I condone the two of you having sex. AT ALL. Only the two of you can decide IF the time is right for you.” I glance at Maddie, who’s wishing she could vanish into the floor, she’s staring at it so intently.Mission accomplished.
Soren, on the other hand, takes me seriously, wondering where I’m going with this. I gotta respect the guy for not squirming away from our conversation. Sort of, this is my baby he’s dating… so my point needs to be clear here. Time to hike these britches higher and get this show on the road.
I clear my throat and continue with a shrug. “I won’t always be there all the time to stop you.” I pause for effect. “But just know this… there are steep consequences for your actions. Sure, there’s STDs and side effects of having sex. Some can be cured. Some can’t.” I stop to look directly at both of them before continuing, “Everything is a risk… Then there’s the possibility of a baby. Now, as a teenager, I’m not going to say your life will be over because that’s a lie. I will say this though…” I take great care to look each one of them in the eye, to drive my point home. “Your life will change. It will no longer be your own. Dreams and goals you have are still achievable, but it’ll take a hell of a lot longer to accomplish them. Your life’s no longer your own and your child becomes the top priority. Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”
“Yes, ma’am,” comes quietly out of Soren’s mouth, whereas Maddie’s still frozen in shock from my speech. Her mouth hangs on the floor.
To save us all from any more of this conversation I turn to Maddie. “Get your brother and sister. Dinner’s ready.”
It isn’t until bedtime that I finally get a chance to be alone with Maddie. She’d been pretty quiet through dinner and that isn’t usual for her, especially with Soren here. I’m pretty sure my little speech had something to do with it. I had just gotten Frankie to bed and Declan upstairs when she approaches me in the kitchen.
“Hey, Mom?” comes quietly from across the room.
“Yeah, Mads?” It feels like this might be a conversation worth sitting for, so I gesture to the couch in the family room and bring the glass of water I had just filled myself over to get comfortable.
She takes a seat in the corner of the couch, propping her legs under her, but she remains facing me. Maddie’s usually my most direct child, so I’m a bit surprised she hesitates. I decide to wait her out. It feels like forever. Just when I’m about to ask what’s up, she says, “We’re not. You know.”
Um, what the hell is she talking about?“Not???” I draw out as an attempt to get her to share her thoughts.
“We’re not having sex,” she says as her cheeks paint a rosy color and she looks away from me.
Well, that’s a fucking relief.I hadn’t really suspected they were, since we’ve been pretty open about it. But I wasn’t certain when I launched into my tirade this evening. “Okay,” I manage to calmly say.
She stays silent. I wonder if there’s more she wants to tell me, but I’m charting new waters here. Before when we’ve talked about the prospect of having sex, it was always about hypothetical people. Soren is about as real as they get.
“I just wanted you to know. I’m… Well, I’m still… a virgin,” she sputters as she picks at some invisible lint on the couch.
Okay, still relieved.I take in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Suddenly, there’s something I have to know. But, help me God, I don’t want to ask it. “Are you wanting to have sex with Soren?” Somehow, this comes out naturally and not at all exposing how I feel about this conversation.
This shocks Maddie. “Oh.” She lets out the deep breath she had apparently been holding and shakes her head vehemently. “No. I’m not ready.”
“Is Soren pressuring you?” I ask, biting my lower lip. He doesn’t seem to be the type, but then again, I’m not the one dating him.
“Oh, no.” Maddie smiles. “Not at all. He actually was really impressed with you today. His older sister had a pregnancy scare in college and he wished his parents had been as open about this as you are.”
Okay, wow!“Really?” is about all I can manage at this point. I wasn’t expecting this conversation.
Maddie sighs and runs a hand through her thick, brown hair. “Yeah, they were pretty pissed. But the funny thing is, they had never even had ‘The Talk’ with any of their kids. They just assumed they would abstain or it wouldn’t be a problem, I guess.”
“Well…”What can I say to that?“At least in terms of communication, talking can help. It doesn’t mean there won’t be pregnancy scares or anything.” I shrug, wishing there was a manual to help with situations like these. “There’s only one way to prevent that.” I look pointedly at her to make sure she comprehends my meaning.
“Yeah,” Maddie sighs. “I know.”
“You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” I reach out a hand and she grabs it. I give her a squeeze and thankfully, a smile spreads across her face.
“Yeah, I know,” she repeats once again, but with a more promising tone.
