Page 63 of Damien
Fuck. I shouldn’t have brought this up. Why couldn’t I have been patient and waited for her to share when she was ready?
“I’m sorry,” I say as I reach for her hand. “I don’t mean to upset you.”
“I’m not upset. I knew this conversation would come up eventually after dinner that night. I’m surprised you haven’t asked sooner, honestly.”
“I didn’t want to upset you,” I admit. “I also don’t want to pry. I’m okay with waiting until you’re comfortable talking about it with me, too.”
“I’ve come a long way since the accident. Time and therapy have helped, as well. For the longest time, I blamed myself. But now, I’ve come to realize it was just a horrific accident, and there’s nothing I could’ve done to prevent it.”
Why would she think her parents’ accident was her fault?
“What do you mean?” I ask for clarification. Now isn’t the time to assume anything. My mind races to all sorts of conclusions, but none of them seem viable.
“At one time, I thought it was my fault they were involved in the accident in the first place. The night of graduation, my parents stayed home with Julia so I could celebrate at our senior party. They’d made special arrangements for me to drive home before midnight, and then they left to take the two to six a.m. shift as chaperones.
“I made it home safely and was sound asleep with Jules when it happened. I was none the wiser.” She shakes her head as the memories assault her, making my chest ache.
“If this is too hard, please don’t feel like you have to tell me,” I reassure her.
“It’s easier if you know,” she quietly whispers.
Vanessa inhales deeply, then releases it slowly as if she’s fortifying herself for what’s to come. My chest tightens and even though I know what’s coming, I mentally brace myself so I can force myself to keep my reactions to a minimum.
“Thankfully, I wasn’t alone. Vince got home before my parents… but at the time, we didn’t think anything of it. Maybe they’d stopped somewhere or something. We were both playing with Jules in the front yard when the officers arrived.”
Slowly, she exhales, and my heart breaks as I watch her trace the patterns on my sheets absentmindedly. God, what this woman has gone through in such a short period of time.
I’m surprised when a small smile forms as she says, “Jules was adorable that day. She’d actually slept in, and we’d been having a relaxing morning. I took her outside so we could soak up the sun for a few minutes before I put her down for her early morning nap. Little did I know that’d be my last memory of life as I knew it…”
Her smile fades as she shakes her head, as if to rid herself of a painful thought. Fuck, I wish I could erase that pain for her, more than anything. Not being able to help myself, I pull her close to comfort her. Though she snuggles closer, her eyes are fixed on her hand still tracing patterns on my sheets.
Her voice is low and almost mechanical as she reveals more. “When the officers pulled into the driveway, all it took was one look at the grave expressions on their faces, and my stomach filled with lead. I pulled Jules closer to me, trying to find comfort in her as I watched them approach. My blood turned to ice as I tried to imagine why they were visiting. Vince must’ve sensed it, too, because to this day, I distinctly remember his arms coming around the two of us as an added layer of protection. We knew something was wrong. But never in a million years did we expect the news we received.”
“I can’t imagine,” slips from my lips without my permission.
“I went numb the moment they got us inside and explained what had happened. They calmly went through the facts as they explained how my parents had been run off the road. Apparently, it was a hit-and-run, and the driver was caught a few miles down the road when he wrecked his car once again.
“Ironically, he’d up-ended our entire world, yet he was so freaking drunk, he didn’t have a scratch on him. At the trial, he claimed he had no recollection of the events of the day. He even tried to get off, using his disease of alcoholism as an excuse. I do feel sorry for him because he obviously had a problem. But that doesn’t excuse his choices. He chose to drink. He chose to drive. It took me a long time to realize it was a horrible accident, and I had nothing to do with it, but his choices that day had monumental consequences, which impacted us all.”
“What happened to him?” I ask, in fear of making this harder on her than it should.
“He’s still in jail because there were witnesses. Apparently, this wasn’t his first hit-and-run. Though it was his only accident involving a homicide.” She takes in a deep breath, and her voice is watery when she continues, “I honestly believe he didn’t remember what had happened. But it doesn’t change the fact that it did, ya know?”
Holy shit. If I categorized Vanessa as being only one of the strongest people I’ve ever known before, she definitely holds the title now. I can’t imagine what she and Vince went through. The thought of losing one of my family members would bring me to my knees, but to lose both parents at once…
Awe and wonderment also flood my thoughts about this strong, independent woman before me. She not only picked herself up by her bootstraps, but she did it with a kid in tow. Not only is Julia thriving, but she and Vince are, too.
Half the people I know, myself included, would have given up, but no—not Vanessa. I admire her strength and determination.
“I’m so sorry,” I say, giving her a much-needed hug. However, I’m not sure if it’s more for her or myself. I’m wrecked just hearing her story. I can’t even begin to imagine what it was like to live through it.
Instead of acknowledging my compliment, Vanessa continues with the rest of her story. “The coroner who’d performed the autopsy said they died on impact. Like that’s supposed to bring you comfort.”
“I’m sure it doesn’t. But at least you know they didn’t suffer,” I offer.
“Yeah, but it doesn’t mean I don’t miss them every day. Some days are harder than others, but my parents wouldn’t want us to give up on our dreams. In fact, that was one of the reasons Vince transferred to CRU to be with me.”
“That’s admirable,” I admit. I’ve heard this part before but knowing more about her parents puts things into an entirely new perspective. I can’t imagine the hardship and sacrifice their family has gone through.
