Page 43 of Damien
From the corner of my eye, I see her look at me as she says, “Yeah?”
“If you wanted to be with Julia, why did we stay?” It’s been puzzling me since we returned to our seats.
“Well… I was having a great time… and I like you. I haven’t dated since finding out I was pregnant with Julia, but…” she trails off.
When the silence lasts longer than my curiosity can handle, I prompt, “But…”
“But… I didn’t want you to think…”
Ah, shit. Thisdoeshave something to do with me.
Not acceptable.
“You can just stop that thought right there,” I interrupt. “Let’s be clear about something. I know I don’t have kids, and I’d never proclaim to be an expert… Hell, I’ve hardly been around kids… but I want you to clearly know where I stand…” I draw in a deep breath so I can choose the words she needs to hear. “I willneverjudge you for putting Julia first. From what I know of you, you’re an amazing person and an incredible mom. I’ve seen what you’ve done to keep her a priority. Please don’t ever think that I’ll be offended if we cut our time short so you can be with her. I’ve got plenty of ego to go around, and I guarantee it won’t be bruised if I’m not first.”
“Okay,” she says quietly as she looks down at her hands. “Good to know.”
“I’m serious, Vanessa. Please don’t ever feel like you can’t say what you want or need. I’m a big boy and can handle whatever you throw at me. Will I miss you if we can’t hang out—sure. But I promise I won’t be butt hurt or make you feel as if I should take priority. That’s not fair to any of us. Maybe someday I’ll be included in your plans with Jules, so you don’t have to choose. But until that day comes, I just want you to know I appreciate the time we do get together.”
When Vanessa remains quiet for an unusual amount of time, I risk glancing in her direction.
To my surprise, her jaw hangs slack, and her eyes are wide.
“What?” I ask, replaying my words in my head.
Did I say something wrong?
No, I don’t think so.
I meant every word.
But why hasn’t she said anything?
“Vanessa?” I ask hesitantly.
“Wow…” she says with both wonder and accusation. “Just wow.”
Shit. Maybe I did say something wrong. “Wow what?” I prompt.
She remains silent.
For the love of God, just put me out of my misery already.
As casual as I can manage, I prompt her again to continue as I return my focus to the road. “Vanessa?”
From the corner of my eye, I see her head shake.
“Wow… as in I didn’t think my mom would be right…”
“About…” Damn. This girl needs to learn to finish her thoughts. She’s killing me.
“Mom said… someday I’d meet a guy who’d understand my need to put Julia first and wouldn’t be selfish when it came to spending time with him.”
“Your mom sounds like a smart lady.” Who wouldn’t recognize the situation of Vanessa being a single mom and where her priorities should be?
“She was… especially in this case. I remember finding out about Julia and thinking my life as I knew it was over. But Mom, being the amazing mother she was, just said.No honey. Just your turn at being the center of your world is over. This is only the beginning of an amazing adventure. Trust me. One day, you’ll find someone who recognizes your need to put this little one above both of your needs and love them for who they are to you.”
I mull over her words and realize just how true they should be.
