Page 90 of Drew
I take a deep breath to calm my nerves.
Geez, Abby, why am I even thinking like this?
Because you know it will hurt more when I fall harder, my inner voice quietly whispers.
Get it together, Abby, I chastise myself. Drew doesn’t need me falling apart right now. He needs to focus on his game.
It’s time to put my selfish thoughts aside. I swipe at the tears streaming down my cheeks then quickly type out a reply.
Me: Night. Sweet dreams.
So that I won’t type anymore, I do the hardest thing imaginable. I power my phone down and turn off the light.
Slipping between the sheets, I adjust my pillow and attempt to settle my thoughts. But all I end up doing is tossing and turning. Adjusting my pillow and contemplating what I should do about Drew.
I see my clock read each hour as it slowly slips by.
Just when I finally fall asleep—my alarm sounds. I hit snooze a few times, but when I finally drag myself from my bed, it’s only because I can’t possibly wait another second in the comforts of my blankets without being late for class.
Not even bothering to shower, I quickly brush my teeth and throw on some deodorant. I may not give a shit about much now, but I do have some standards. Dressing in a pair of black leggings and the first t-shirt I touch, I dress in record time. When I see Drew’s oversized hoodie laying on the chair in the corner of my room, my heart clenches.
Wanting to feel closer to him, to help me get through the day, I opt to wear it. He’d left it here while we’d been studying. Though it’s been unworn for days, it still smells of him. I inhale deeply, and my chest aches. God, I miss him.
Glancing at my clock, I panic.
Shit! I have less than twenty minutes to have my ass in a seat. My professor is a stickler for punctuality. He even paces for a full five minutes before class begins, so he can start exactly on time. Fuck. I can’t be late.
Knowing it takes a good twelve minutes to get to the lecture hall, I grab my phone off the charger and slip it into my bag, slide on the first pair of shoes I can wear without going to the trouble of finding socks, and zip out of my apartment.
I manage to make it to class with three minutes to spare. I take my usual place and do my best to focus on the lecture that starts promptly on time. Of course, my concentration’s total shit because with each breath I take, I’m reminded of Drew.
I’ve never been much of a masochist, but I can’t force myself to take off his hoodie. Sure, I probably look like a little girl playing dress up as the sleeves are bunched up, and it hangs long on me, but I gave up long ago worrying about what other people think of my fashion sense, or lack thereof in my case.
I move from class to class throughout the day on auto pilot. I’m physically present in each one, but my mind is nowhere near the walls of any of the classrooms. Nope, my thoughts hopped on the jet plane to North Carolina now. I want so badly to reach out and talk to him, but knowing he’s somewhere over the Midwest now, I don’t even bother to pull out my phone from my bag.
When I’m finally done with my four classes for the day. I mechanically make my way home. Walking past the mailbox, I remember I haven’t checked it in a while. Knowing my key is at home and my roommates are still in class, I climb the stairs to my apartment and retrieve it.
When I open the box, my heart stalls.
There’s another large white envelope filling up the space.
Slowly, I reach in to read the name. It could be for Chloe or Sydney. But let’s face it, I’m the only one who’s been getting mail like this.
When I notice the logo in the return address, my stomach drops.
My legs feel heavy, and my heartrate feels as if it’s in slow motion.
No way. No freaking way.
I can’t find out today, of all days.
Feeling the weight of the envelope, my heart picks up its pace.
I can’t handle another blow today… I just can’t. The words written in this letter could be the nail in the coffin for Drew and me.
Somehow, I manage to make it upstairs. Once inside, I go straight to my bedroom to be alone when I receive this news.
Carefully, I lay the envelope on my bed and stare at it as if it’s a ticking time bomb.
