Page 88 of Drew
“Just got a lot on my mind…” He trails off but gives no further explanation.
“I can help carry the burden, if you’ll let me,” I offer, knowing that whatever it is, he’ll likely feel better if he gets it off his chest.
“Naw. I’m fine. It’s nothing I can’t handle. Just seeing your beautiful face helps.”
This earns him a smile, and I reward him by lifting to the tip of my toes to kiss him gently. This kiss isn’t rushed or hurried, and it doesn’t light the world on fire. But it does manage to sear Drew Jacobs deep within my soul. I wish he’d tell me what’s bothering him, but knowing Drew as well as I do, he’ll tell when he’s good and ready. Not a minute sooner.
Before things get carried away, Drew breaks the kiss. His voice is rough and filled with lust when he says, “I gotta go.”
Trying to stay positive, I playfully punch him in the shoulder. “Knock ‘em dead, Jacobs. I’m counting on you!”
“Okay,” he draws out on a chuckle. “I will.”
We’re quiet for a moment. Neither of us wanting to be the first to say goodbye.
Drew leans down once again to kiss me chastely on the lips. “Love you, Angel. See you when I get back.”
“Love you, too,” I whisper in return.
Drew’s determination is stronger than mine. Somehow, he manages to kiss me lightly once more, turn, and walk away without another word.
I know he’s gone to several away games, so I’m not sure why this feels different. But watching him leave feels like he’s taking a piece of me with him.
As soon as he’s out of sight, I slowly turn and make my way back inside. As I twist the deadbolt, I lean my forehead against the door and feel a strange sense of loss.
If he has the power to do this to me now, what will it be like when we part for med school?
Fuck. I’m in so much trouble.
Eventually, I meander my way to the couch, plopping myself down to continue reading my book. But after repeating the same sentence multiple times, I know it’s useless. I can’t concentrate. My mind’s like that octopus ride at the fair. Up and down, round and round. Just when I think I can catch hold of something, it races again, and I lose track of that thought. My stomach twists into knots as I hold on for dear life, trying to wrap my head around my feelings.
That’s how Sydney finds me when she gets home from work.
“Since when do you spend time staring at the ceiling?” she asks, breaking me away from my thoughts.
“Uh, when did you get home?” I ask, amazed I didn’t hear her come in.
“I just walked in. I thought you might be sleeping, but when I saw your eyes open, I waited a few moments before saying anything.”
Seriously? “Huh. I guess I was lost in thought,” I offer as an explanation.
Sydney plops down in the chair beside me. “Penny for your thoughts? Though by the way you were zoning out, I may need to offer my tip money for tonight.”
“I’m just thinking about Drew,” I admit with honesty.
“That can’t be a bad thing.” Sydney smiles knowingly. “That man is something to think about.”
Normally, I’d say something snarky in return to a comment like that but instead, I sigh heavily as I try to explain my whirling thoughts. “He came over to say goodbye, but since he’s left… I’ve… just been… thinking.”
“We all know how dangerous your mind is,” she teases. “Can you hold off on world domination for a little longer?”
“Ha. Ha. Very funny,” I chastise. “I was just thinking about what it meant when he left. I swear he took a part of me with him.”
All traces of teasing disappear from Sydney’s face. “Aww, Abs. It’s okay to like him.”
“That’s the problem, Syd. I think I like himtoomuch. He’s only gone for a couple of days, and I already miss him like crazy. Uggh… He hasn’t even left town. Why am I already like this?” The shocked expression on Sydney’s face would be comical if I weren’t so worried now. I take in a quick breath and continue, “What the hell am I going to do next year when we’re across the country from one another?”
Syd starts to say something, but I cut her off, “See… this right here is why I probably shouldn’t even be dating in the first place. It’s why I haven’t let myself get attached. I don’t know if I can handle it.”
