Page 34 of The Playmaker
Best of luck,
Avery
A pang of something very close to sadness hits my heart. A few weeks? I'm sure she's just being assigned to do something different; she didn't ask to stop shadowing me. Did she? Uncertainty floods me like icy water.
I feel a sense of loss that I can't explain—or maybe I can, but don't want to admit. She's gotten under my skin in a way no woman has before. Not because she's beautiful, though sheis. Not because she's smart, though that's part of it. But because when I'm with her, I feel like I can be myself—both parts of me, the star receiver and the guardian brother—without having to choose.
I guess I deserve this. I was ice cold to her…but that was because Coach had a magnifying glass on me! I whack the steering wheel. I just assumed I'd see Avery around and would be able to explain. I guess not.
Now, I have to wait two weeks and who knows how far and fast she'd have moved on by then. I'm starting to think I can't walk this line anymore. And I guess, neither can she.
I start the drive home, my mind torn between the sister who needs me and the woman I can't stop thinking about. For the first time, I wonder if there's a way to have both—to protect Riley while also letting someone else into our carefully guarded world.
CHAPTER 15
AVERY
"Yoohoo!" Pen makes a face at me. "You are a million miles away…and I can guess where."
I grin, feeling sheepish as she holds up yet another chic little cocktail dress that lands somewhere between posh and "pick me" energy. I wrinkle my nose.
"That would show way too much cleavage for Restaurant Week."
"Exactly," she drawls out, pushing the dress into my not-so-eager arms. "You need to put yourself out there," a hand goes on her hip and I groan, knowing she's just getting started, "and I don't mean for you-know-who."
I have only told Pen that I'm lowkey attracted to Jax, but she suspects so much more. Clearly. And she is not a fan of the situation. I get it. All the players have reputations of being, well players. Off the field. On the road. In the hotels.
I swallow hard remembering my time with Jax in an actual hotel room. The way his hands moved over my body like he was memorizing every curve. The way his eyes locked with mine in moments of vulnerability neither of us expected. But what we had was different…right? I'm certainly not one of those groupies just dying to land a football player.
"You're blushing," Pen observes dryly.
"It's hot in here," I say, gesturing around at the upscale boutique with its bright lights. "Fine. I'll try this on. But I won't buy anything that looks like I'm serving up what you find at abreastaurant." I wink. Pen cackles.
"You have to find a new dress, too!" I call out as I whip the heavy curtain of one of the dressing rooms closed.
"Of course," she says breezily. "I can't have my bestie outshining the restaurant review queen…moi."
"Review queen? OMG, do not put that on your blog." I laugh as I pull on the dress.
I vaguely hear her oohing and aahing over something on the other side of the curtain as I manhandle the zipper and adjust the "girls" to try to reduce the insane amount of cleavage on display.
I feel a pang through my heart—unwanted, unwelcome. Part of me wishes Jax could see me like this…on a date…just the two of us. The cut of the dress is made for my body and shows off my full hips and small waist. I'm in the middle of posing like a fool when the curtain flies open and Pen stares at me, smirking with a load of dresses over her arm.
"Oooh, someone is feeling herself. I love it! That's the one. You have to buy it." She plops the dresses on the velveteen chair in the dressing room.
I look back at myself. If the V weren't so very low, I would buy it. But alas… "I am absolutely not advertising my double Ds. Thank you, no." I close the curtain and start putting my real clothes back on. "Show me what you have."
She takes the discarded dress and holds it up. "This is the one, Avery. Just get the front altered. I saw a sign—they do that here."
I brighten at the thought. "Maybe you're right. It's worth asking about." I grin at her and clap my hands. "Okay, I want a fashion show, Ms. Restaurant Review Queen."
She shoos me out, insisting she needs to make a grandentrance to best show off each garment. While she flounces out again and again, each dress looking even better than the last in her thin, willowy figure, my mind wanders.
To the West Coast football trip. To my web series assignment. To the inside look at Jax's past that I never got in that flight back to NYC. To…him. The coldness in his eyes on the plane that didn't match the heat I'd felt in his touch just days before.
"Oh, it looks so much better!" a woman's voice says as she and a teenager step up on the three-way mirrored podium. She looks at a portly woman with a sewing tape around her shoulders and a pin cushion strapped to her wrist that looks like a porcupine attacked it. "You did a beautiful job altering the dress."
I smile at the excitement in the teen's young face. Then I look closer. Her features… they look almost… no. It can't be. I look away, not wanting to stare.
