Page 32 of The Playmaker
You were the one who told him it was just sex,my unhelpful brain reminds me. It's not his fault if he moved on. I told him to. Shit! I'm an idiot.
"Don't worry about it," I say, standing hastily, the entire area around him feeling icy cold all of a sudden.
He doesn't try to keep me with him, politely handing me my bag as I pick up my phone and tablet. I notice he keeps his fingers away from mine as if he's promised himself no physical contact with me. As if whatever happened between us has been locked away in some vault labeled "mistake."
Biting back tears of regret, I find an empty seat in an isolated corner and pretend to work the rest of the flight. But all I can think about is how I'm terrified of ending up like my mother—broken by a man who never cared enough to stay.
CHAPTER 14
JAX
Ihated seeing Avery almost choke up as she walked away on the plane yesterday. Damn it—life is messy. And I hate messy. Hawk heard through the grapevine that someone started a rumor that I slept with Avery. No idea who, but that meant Coach was up in my business every day and night of that trip after we left LA, just waiting for me to mess up.
I plop down on a bench in the Phantoms' training gym, unlocking the barbell and doing chest presses as if my life depends on it. I need to burn off steam. I hate feeling babysat. And that's how I feel. Coach means well, and he's been like a father to me since I joined the NFL, but I'm not a kid. And Avery isn't staff. She's a visiting journalist who is writing an inside look at the Phantoms as well as a web series.
But when I told Coach that the rumor was false, he looked at me like he knew I was lying. Then when I immediately told him Avery was not employed by us, he definitely knew I was lying about having slept with her.
"Let me spot you," Hawk says, suddenly looming over me. "You're lifting heavier today. Is that wise?"
I ignore him, continuing to lift until my arms and pecs are shaking. He grips the barbell.
"Okay, Tarzan, you've done enough for today with the bench presses. Let's jog on the treadmills."
I shake my head. "I will when I'm done. I want to use the bag first."
Hawk wipes sweat off his face with the towel that's draped around his thick, muscled neck. "After bench press? Man. Your chest is gonna be on fire."
I shrug. "We've got four days off."
He holds his hands up. "Okay. It's your funeral."
He runs me through a few cycles of the punching bag, randomly calling out punch and kick sequences to test how fast I respond and how accurately I recall them. I feel the delicious burn of my muscles and my lungs full of oxygen. The physical pain is a welcome distraction from the mental chaos. With each punch, I try to knock away the image of Avery's hurt expression, the cold distance between us on the plane.
"Alright. Your turn," I pant as I step away.
"Uh-uh. I'm done. Been done for an hour."
Only then do I look around. None of the other players are there. Everyone's left for… home. For their wife. Their girlfriend. Someone other than a nanny and their kid sister. For the first time in forever I feel lonely. Avery did this to me. Without even trying.
I rake a hand down my face. "God, this is so frustrating."
"Do I even want to know?" Hawk asks.
I shake my head.
"Right," he says with a skeptical look. "That reporter. Dude! You've got to let it go. You can't keep pining over someone who could wreck your whole secret with one line of text from her keyboard!"
"I know, okay? I know." I groan as we pick up our things and walk to the door. "She isn't so desperate for a story that she'd throw me under the bus like that, I don't think."
Hawk scoffs. "You don't 'think'? You're willing to risk Riley's privacy over a 'think' instead of a 'know'?"
His words hit like a blindside tackle. He's right. I've spent years protecting Riley, building this entire persona to keep her out of the spotlight. And now I'm risking it all because I can't stop thinking about a woman who literally makes her living exposing athletes' secrets. What the hell is wrong with me?
"Riley has social media now," I say without preamble.
Hawk looks impressed. "Wow. The overly protective brother has a heart, after all. I bet the kid is psyched."
I raise my eyebrows. "Yeah. She has our mother's last name so…it would be unlikely anyone would put two and two together."
